Cheers to 2006

As everyone in Chicago gets ready for the Bears/New Year's Simultaneous Party Fiasco, I wanted to wish you all a wonderful new year - hope 2007 is twice as good as 2006.

For my hometown, here are a couple of interesting stories from 2006.

For myself, a couple of brief images I remember from 2006:


- Getting a bottle of "The Admiral" as a cruel present down at ISU.

- "You wanna McWrestle?" - I had a funny sense of confidence confronting an intruder, on my birthday at Durty Nellie's.

- Hearing "clam-jacked" on the radio

- Walking 3 miles from the United Center before realizing we were a LONG way from Kingston Mines.

- Playing tour guide, host, and friend for a visitor over the summer.

- Taking the DC boys downstate for baseball - and goin' "out on the town" in beautiful Joliet, IL with a high-class bunch of baseball coaches.

- "I don't even KNOOW what you're talking about." - another birthday treasure that came during the confrontation with the stranger. Apparently he thought we were dissin' his lady. This phrase ended up living on for like, oh, how many months after?

- Seeing Australian Soccer hooligans for the first time - at a dive bar in Reno, Nevada with Sachs.

- Seeing the same hooligans dancing around on top of pool tables in the same bar - sans pants, moments later.

- Being the only person on earth to soak their phone and wallet in beer, then run as fast as possible and throw them both down 11 stories into a trash chute. If you don't know the story behind that - I'm sure I'll eventually publish it.

- Playing a round of golf with a man who was legally blind, had a block foot, and wore a rainbow pinwheel hat. For 3 hours. For only 8 holes.

- Watching another man try to save his clubs from rolling into a lake, and subsequently slipping and falling ass first into the lake.

- Hitting my best 4-iron of my life, 198 yards just short and right of the pin in the fringe, but was especially amazing considering it was on a hole with all sand to the right of the green, all lake in front of the green, and a graveyard right behind the green. It was my first and only successful attempt at navigating ghosts on the course.

- a rockin' show at LPZoo.

- 3 folding tables, one turkey, 6 family members, one studio apt. = thanksgiving dinner

- deciding it would be a good idea to try to get 4 jobs in one year.

- getting trucked playing pickup hoops before work, and leaving the emergency room 2 hours later with 8 stitches and a rediculous scar.

- doing about 10 public speaking engagements looking like frankenstein with those damn stitches

- michigan football weekend - family's first game and seeing us whup the badgers

- 6 hilarious hours of freezin cold baseball alumni weekend golf. Seeing Ali Husain slioe a shot 50 yards away from the hole, then look back at everyone laughing and saying "Hey I know, lets have a pizza making contest!" - possibly the funniest line of the year.

- The kid, Rosey, Leif, Zach, Lentz, Dooch, and a whole loaf of "Holla" - or however its spelled

- First year of life where I wasn't a baseball player. I didn't turn into a pumpkin.

Stupid 8

It wasn't so much that I was upset about the 8 on the river busting my KK, I was more upset that the 8 on the river decided to pick up my chair in a fit of furious rage, spin rapidly around like a wild-eyed centrifuge and fling my office chair halfway across the apartment!

Trust me, this is the REAL danger of online poker. The cards sometimes get up and start throwing your belongings willy nilly around neighboring empty spaces, without first assuming any inherent consequences!

Aside from this, though, it was a good day.

In case I never mentioned this - I started a brand new bankroll like 2 weeks ago.

Initial Down Payment - $60.


% +/- for December = + 432%

Method: strict aherence to a sit-n-go program.
buy-in levels < or = %15 of opening daily bankroll or less.

Moment of the month: After hitting a very very cold string, having a jerk make fun of me for raising 2X the pot after the flop and taking a small pot down. Already twitching with anger to begin with, I began a verbal vendetta against him at the table, trying to make him seem as stupid as possible, all the while check-raise trapping him with a set, getting him to push, and eliminating him on the way to winning the table.



ANYWAY. Have a wonderful New Year's Eve! Check out some of the new sports blogs I threw down the roll. There's a classic Bobby Knight video that I think I will re-post here eventually - until then, it is on one of the new blogs I've listed, so you can check it out for yourself.

Helium Blinds, Lose-Lose Calls, and Major Suckage.

So, if you can open up your imagination for a second. Join me at "a table"? You know where to find me, on the button. I'm seated here with a tough decision, and I don't really know how to play this one. I'm kinda middle-stacked, but these blinds are out of control. I don't think I can wait around much longer, and everytime someone else goes to make a move, what happens? Of course, split-pot. The guy over in the corner has just pushed all in. The look on his face says it all - you can almost smell the A-7 on him -- he's thinking to himself, "this garbage is the best thing I've seen all night". You'd think he was trying to lose these last few chips, just to make a point. The guy next to him, the chip leader by like, .002 chips, he's looking at his cards right now. Oh man, he's got a hand. This guy has been getting hands all night. Interestingly enough, I don't think he's doubled up one time yet. Not willing to blow it all on one hand, which I really don't understand. He's made like 3 sets and a pair of flushes in the past 30 minutes! He's reaching for his chips...wow. What's he thinking about? I'd bet everything I had that he had at least JJ right now. At least I would win ONE bet tonight. Oh man. I can't believe this. He's fiddling, fiddling. Muck. Wow. I don't understand, this was the time to take command. I wonder if he realizes that all it will take is 1 time around the blinds and 1 all-in showdown between two players to take him from 1st place to borderline 5th. The decision goes around. The next guy, how is he even still in this thing? He's got a little less chips than me, but he's split like 5 pots tonight with some lucky rivers. He's had worse kickers than a MAC football team and seems to think we are playing Hi/Lo Omaha half the time. Does he know we are only using 7 cards? Oh man, I can't believe it, he PUSHED. Jesus. There's no way he's got a hand, he wouldn't know what to do. He would probably ask to double down if he had a pocket pair. I take a quick glance to my left - the SB is going to be mucking faster than Richard Simmons without his ritalin. No way he can take this burden off of me. At this point, I'm prayin' the last guy to act before me has a hand. Please. He looks down at his cards. He's been pretty close to the vest all night, but its clear he can sniff out what's going on at this table. He's been re-raising and taking down pots from Capt. Wired-but-Nervous all night, and he's gleefully called a couple of retard bets from Mr. "Is this 5-card draw" to his right. For some reason, we've never been in a hand together, and I don't know why he doesn't have more chips than he does. Of course, he does have this lady next to him, giving him stern glares every once in a while, even occasionally telling him when to fold. Did I just see her steal a chip off the stack? Wait, did she just take two? I see him look down and begin to pu--wait, he's stopped. She just whispered something to him. He looks up- expressionless. Muck.

So then, its to me, and I look down to see what glorious two cards I might have this time.

First card. You know what it has to be - Ace of spades.

Exhale, a mini-novena. One time, please, one time!

Second card. 6 of clubs.

Wow.

No rockets, no suited, no connector or even a reasonable shot at anything other than two pair or a flopped set.

Fold - and I know what will happen. I won't see another two face cards till the blinds have raced past me like Princess Diana's chauffeur. But at least he would have the common courtesy to just kill me outright, instead of chopping off my arms and watching me bleed.

Call the push, and even in the 10% chance that the flop, turn and river actually help me for once, it would be like stealing from a blind kid and a leper and then joining Medinah CC with the money. Sure, I'd be golfing, but you could bet I wouldn't be able to get a foursome together there to play with "my kind."


Time's ticking. What to do? Either way ya go, you know it's lose/lose.
************************************************************************************

So I took a few on the chin the other night, and it kind of set me back to where I started a few weeks ago in my bankroll. There's nothing like losing with 10 10 and 9 9 over and over and over and over and over. And if that wasn't painful enough, I was consistently raising 4-7X the big blind when I had premium hands, trying to shake it down to at least 3 to the flop, and everytime I would somehow take 6 guys with me. It was like every table had 5 people that didn't care about their money, but were hellbent on making every starting hand I held essentially worthless everytime I bet, EXCEPT when I would catch trips or make a set on the turn. Then where did that aggressive play go? Completely would vanish. Heck, I would freakin' check to the river and people would just fold. It was one of those days where even when you won, you swear your stack got smaller. Heck, it was one of those days where every bad break someone ELSE got actually really screwed you in the end. One particular moment I recall was a poor fellow who was down to 60 chips with 4 people left at this particular table, and the wild-eyed loon who was chip leader (I was second at the time, with about half his stack) kept pushing this guy in with garbage, and the guy kept calling with KK and QQ or something premium, and before you knew it he was up to like 800 chips. Then, when I would get a hand like an 88 or a 77 that I could put this pesky small stack all-in with, big-stacked loon would PUSH ahead of me, forcing me to fold a marginally good hand, only to watch him blow it with 64 offsuit up against a 10J or something. THEN, when the 3rd biggest stack decided to push this lowstack in, after cursing out big-stacked loon for a while, he managed to somehow get rivered with QQ up against low stacked 44. It was another brutal beat, and the worst part was is that it essentially screwed me the most. I ended up pushing with AQ, of course got a caller with 10J, and after the second 10 fell on the turn, I decided it wasn't my day.

But anyway, such is the life. Who doesn't love sharing their "punch me" stories every once in a while? It's more fun to complain than to recall that $600 dollar suck-out I pulled in my first ever huge MT/NLT on Pacific Poker like 5000 years ago.

So yea, the mood was somber today until I found this little gem. Very funny - and dedicated to a cause that I couldn't agree more with. I wonder if they have old Morgan quotes stashed on there. Maybe the best is his claim about not knowing which direction the sun sets at Wrigley Field, because he "wasn't fimiliar with that park".

Please - Let Me Teach Your Children to Swear

Signed,

Bobby Knight

Like Comin' Home

I'm back from Christmas weekend with the family. I will synthesize something here soon. Until then, please accept my sincere wishes for a merry Christmas! Also, please enjoy this little number. It is from the same guy who did the "Mr. Brightside" video I posted a bit ago. If you like his stuff, his name is "quiksilverboy" on YouTube - I highly recommend him - great stuff. I hope he appreciates this shameless plug.

Anyway, enjoy!

More Soon.

Lightning Crashes - Live

A Curious Problem

Every unique thought you have ever had?


It's already been thought of 100 times over.


As I wish you all a merry Christmas Eve from Indiana, I wanted to link up to the blog that currently still holds the name that I was hoping to have for this one.

The fact that there could be two drops in the bucket on the internet isn't terribly remarkable, but man o man, does he have to have that URL? I mean, it clearly hasn't been used in a while - Sept. 20th was the last post.


So...maybe for Christmas, I could get a lovely present from a fellow bucketdropper? A URL present if you will?

Coincidentally, its a pretty cool little page - lots of interesting stuff and posts that make you ponder. I encourage everyone to click on the link and check it out!

Gato No Tsukai (Silent Library) : The Funniest Videos You Should See Before 2007

Boo - not many comments about the tunes! I have to hold true to my word: no comments, no list.

Instead, I'll only do one. Well, its like 10, but really, its all one idea.

So, instead of a #1-23 like I had planned, I will give you the following videos, all under the rank, #1.

#1. Silent Library, or Gato No Tsukai

This isn't new to people overseas most likely, but I can tell you that this hasn't ever caught on in America. My God, if I can accomplish one thing with this page, I hope it is spread the popularity of this entirely genius and altogether hysterical game.


"Silent Library", or Gato No Tsukai, as it is known in Japan, is a simple little game. The following are some of the episodes that you can find (if you search hard) on YouTube. How nice of me to collect them all right here!

Enjoy.

Silent Library




Silent Library – 2001



Silent Library – 2002






If the 200,000 + hits on the original video on YouTube wasn't enough of a clue, the following videos are evidence that we aren't the first Americans to have the privilege of seeing this stuff. However, I feel that the number is tragically low. More people watch an average NHL game than that - and thats just wrong. Do what's right for humanity, and spread the word!!!

Who is interested in starting our own local chapter??


Silent Library - Reno


Silent Library - Dorm


Silent Library - Birthday



Silent Library - Arizona



Silent Library – Kids Version



A Bonus Extra Video - with a Silent Library Star.




And so, that is it. I hope you enjoyed these. Have an absolutely spectacular Christmas. May your yule log burn brightly.

23 Videos You Should Check out Before the End of 2006

This post could have taken on many titles, the first of which that came to mind being, "This Blog's First Post that I would Actually Check out if I were You". Instead, though, I decided to go with the title above. When I was putting this together, I was trying to decide, "Should I do, like, 23 songs I love from 2006?" or "Should I do my favorite 23 songs of all-time?". While that was probably the line of thinking that inspired this post, those ideas are something that I fear are beyond my abilities. Instead, what follows are 23 videos, pretty much all music, that I feel you should check out. Some of the titles that are in this list aren't new to anybody - and I guess there's a good reason for that -- if something is well known, it has a chance of being pretty good. However, known or not, many of the following videos are pretty unique, and you probably haven't seen most of these before or heard many of the versions of these songs before. At least I hadn't, before I went out on my hunt to put this all together.

So without further ado, starting with #23 and going to #1, enjoy the following videos! I plan on doing a list of 23 funniest things I've seen on Youtube, too, but only if I get 5 comments/emails about this list. So if you like this, pass this on to someone you know to check it out, and if there's interest, I'd love to post the next list.

Enjoy!


Starting with a regular music video, this is a simply great song by a band that isn't too well known outside of Chicago. If you've never seen the video, though, check it out and get hooked.
#23. Time to Waste - Alkaline Trio

This isn't the last song I have in here from these guys. A very cool live cut.

# 22. A Message - Coldplay

Rolling Meadows, IL, is the hometown of these guys. There isn't much great audio in this clip, but I love seeing those few moments of live energy.
#21. Attention Attention - The Academy Is

"Oh you're reputation's so golden, you're never lonely, and you're never home"..A catchy lyric that for some reason always sticks with me. Enjoy.
#20 Leaving Town - Dexter Freebish

This clip should be way higher than #19. However, I am afraid you'll stop scrolling if you don't see the goods soon. Awesome live version.
#19.The Remedy - Jason Mraz

My favorite song by these guys - played very chill and acoustic.
#18. Hands Open - Snow Patrol

In honor of Christmas, one of the classic arrangements ever written.
#17. Canon - Pachabel

Remember this song? Nothing amazing musically maybe, but great video.
#16. Kick Some Ass - Stroke 9

Another pick that could be so much higher, but I can't wait. Listen to this arrangement - Dave Grohl is definitely a top 5 all-time musician.
#15. Everlong (New Arrangement) - Foo Fighters

You don't have to be a hip-hop fan to know something great when you hear it. One of my favorite songs of the year.
#14. Kick Push - Lupe Fiasco

Just the regular music video, but still a great song.
#13. A Lifetime - Better Than Ezra

Seeing this guy live is the only real way to see how good he really is.
#12. Chariot - Gavin DeGraw

Rarely do covers turn out better than the original. Shinedown does this better than Lynyrd, no question. Just a rediculously great live version.
#11. Simple Man - Shinedown

Note: I don't like this video. I like this song so much, that I put it in a list of videos, just so you could hear it if you never have before.
#10. Needs - Collective Soul

If there was a federal case made about why I wanted to learn piano, this would be my "Exhibit A". You'll love this song 100 times more after hearing it like this. #9. Mr. Brightside - The Killers

100's of people in this crowd realized that this song wasn't by Blues Traveler after all! Great live version.
#8. All For You - Sister Hazel

Weird ass video of an old song that's kick ass. Maybe its good this band broke up, because are a little out there, but hey, good stuff.
#7. Never Say Never - That Dog

This is for the ladies. Enjoy.
#6. Almost Honest - Josh Kelley

Great live version of another old, forgotten song that should be a classic. #5. Seeing Red - Unwritten Law

I'm dedicating this to the U-M hockey girls of 2004-05. You guys could sure party, and this song pretty much reminds me of those times every single time.
#4. Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus

I was sitting on my couch, sometime in summer of 2005. I had nothing going on and I was flipping through the channels and came upon this -- I didn't like Coldplay that much before I saw this exact video. It took me about 1 second after listening to this to realize I was about to become a huge fan.
#3. Fix You - Coldplay

#2. Come and Go - Virginia Coalition - I cannot find a good video of this particular song. I have tried to attach an MP3 to this, however, that I hope you click on and can download. I don't know much else to say other than this song is brilliant. If the link doesn't work, immediately download this song on your own.

If you know me well, you are not the least bit surprised to see this at #1. In fact, if you thought I was putting anyone else at #1, you just haven't been paying attention the last 12 years.
#1. Say it Ain't So - Weezer

Post-Game Notes

(Picture courtesy of Crossfit)

I can't seem to get this shot to appear bigger on the site. Go to Crossfit.com and click on the picture (its on the front page) - it will enlarge. The expressions on the two girls' faces are priceless. Oh, if only every kid could have such awesome influences around them - goodbye, diabetes, hello, life!

So, the card game I played on Friday turned out to be a fun-filled event, but it didn't really resemble cards. Oh well, its not like it wasn't a great time. I don't care how serious you are about playing, if you can't enjoy an old-fashioned BS-fest for $10, with all the beer and pizza you can handle for 6 hours, than you my friend, are not a man.

I will be out of town starting Saturday, and there is a lot of stuff I want to get up here before I go. I've been trying to get links up the side of here with many of the bands I like (or I've been told out), but I'm still seriously lacking in content right now. It would be nice to have enough up by New Year's to allow anyone who stopped to check out the page to find a new band that they haven't heard of before.

I plan on getting a few end-of-year lists up here, too. I'm thinkin' a YouTube Top 23, a mp3/video (not sure which yet) Top 23, a Top 23 things to do in 2007, and another list that will be a surprise- but I think it could be a hit. We will see. I want to do it to help someone I used to know pretty well, but I am not entirely sure how to go about doing it. I'll explain what the hell I'm talking about when I begin that list. Anyway, until then, enjoy another plug from me for Crossfit, and see ya in a day.

Three things to leave you with

So, I decided I can write on a few things after all. I am about to engage in a live poker night for the first time in so so long. I'm beyond content. Anyway, before I go, let me share with you three things that I just can't stand anymore.

1. Credit cards for people with bad credit. I am seeing these ads everywhere.

Here's an example of one. Asses.
http://www.creditcards.com/bad-credit.php

First of all, if you sell these things, you're probably going to hell. Let's see, who should we make money off of.. I know! People who desperately need money! It is as bad as camping out overnight at the Goodwill Store in your finest, most expensive suit, the day before you know a bunch of needy individuals are going to be there shopping, and then once the place opens, breaking out $2,000, and buying every piece of clothing in the place. Then, you proceed walking the bags out, one by one into your SUV, as you pass the needy folks staring in disbelief and disappointment
2. Drive-thru people always taking precendent over me, standing in line to pick-up my to-go order from a fast-food place.

Okay, fast-food jagbags. I took the time to get out of my car and place an order from you inside, thus avoiding any confusion over the details of the food/currency transaction we are about undertake. I have done you a favor by not helping clog your drive-thru line even more than it already is, and I have also grace your interior with my presence, revealing myself as a patron to any and all citizens that I, yes, am a supporter of this business. I see that as great advertising. Why, then, do you proceed to serve the next 5 cars in line their rediculously large orders ahead of my simple, pre-numbered, no-special-ingredient-needed value menu purchase? I HATE this. I hate how when you go inside to get your order, they wait on the next 20 people inside vehicles, and then get to you, as if staying in your car made you some sort of first-class citizen that deserved special treatment and advanced service. Are they giving them special treatment because surrounding a fast-food place in a steady stream of carbon emissions and engine exhaust is somehow beneficial to the food inside, and therefore a service I could provide them?
If you go inside to get your order, you should get priority ahead of people in drive thru, if anything. Screw that. And if your car line gets too long to process the orders that way, then tough, hire someone smarter who can organize pre-made sandwiches and pre-timed fried foods in a more efficient fashion.


3. People spending 10 minutes circling the parking lot, looking for a close space to park next to the gym.

Someone agrees with me.

I'm not sure if I need to explain this one. You are attempting to pay money to use a facility that will increase your physical conditioning and well-being by engaging in activity. If you are trying to park as close as possible to this place of business, you might be getting a workout, but you are definitely not getting the POINT.

If anyone out there is about to circle the parking lot at their gym for 10 minutes, then give up and go through a McDonald's drive-thru with their bad-credit credit card, and they get their food ahead of me, I will end you.

Fighting back after a bad beat

So I was all about to get started putting together some random things for the weekend, when I ended up getting a call telling me some very sad news. To my friend and his family, my thoughts are with you - I pray that this will lead to a truly inspirational story of triumph and recovery.

I had also planned on posting a couple of very funny videos I found on the Internet, including some a new invention that I think should hit the market sometime very soon. I then noticed that they all had a common theme in them, though, that in light of the incident that happened I really don't feel comfortable posting about this stuff yet.

The only thing I had planned on posting that I think I will is this link: http://www.jackdaniels.com/bottlechoose.asp

Why? Not because I like Jack Daniel's.

As all alcoholic beverage advertisement and information pieces have, this particular page also notes that those that imbibe should "always drink responsibly."

Drink Jack Daniel's responsibly?

Has anyone, EVER, in the history of alcohol, drunk Jack Daniel's responsibly? Is that even possible? Is there a tracable amount of JD that someone could consciously digest that would leave them in a state that they could effectively navigate a go-kart, much less a vehicle?

I have an idea to help solve this issue, but I'm going to hold off on it for now. All I'll say is...

It's isn't that drinking and driving can be tragic. It is always tragic.

Mini-Charities and Forward Thinking

A different kind of charitable auction

Quite an interesting angle on charitable giving, don't you think?



Aside from the headline story in this little article/blog, I think this is an interesting post I found on two topics that are dear to me: The Freakonomics book that I enjoyed so thoroughly and highly recommend, and innovative and creative charities. Check out the comments left by some of the readers.

I will be harvesting many of the links you can find on this page for my own, so I hope you find something that piques your interest.



A wide variety of stuff to come - this is all for now.

Christmas Gift Ideas

Anyone you know tough to buy for this Christmas season? Here is a couple of ideas - Looking for someone to go on the Proffitt Sandwich run this month - anyone interested, let me know. If you don't know what it is, there's a link along the side of this page somewhere.

Thanks to a friend, who I totally stole this video link from.

Some rules for us to live by

So I've spent the last few posts having a little fun - teasing those of you who call raises looking for runner-runners, aces on the river, and other various suck-out specials. and I think most of us every once in a while feel like screaming when we see some of that harry-high-school BS take the money right out of our hands.

If you've never gotten into playing online, and had taken some impressions of the whole matter from my last few rants, I'd have to guess that I wouldn't exactly be doing much of a sales job on the whole thing. If you can blow 60 bucks on one day of bad beats and goofy card-god screw jobs, why is it worth risking anything on it at all?

But know that in the long haul, I've made a little extra spending CAYSH (as well as some sentimental purchases, i.e. first car) through the whole process, and typically you can do the same if you have the ability to do so.

Bankroll

There are a lot of ideas already out there on this matter. This is my feeling:

Don't buy in with $50 bucks and expect to cash out $500 by the end of the week.

Sometimes I think back to my $10 bucks to $850 buck run of a couple of years ago. You can't really think about that kind of stuff with any realistic expectation of it happening. These rediculous goals will get you into games that are too high limit for your bankroll (entering a $20 buck tourney with $50 bucks to work with).

Listen, only play with what you can afford to lose. Make it a goal to never put money in more than once. (I haven't put any in in almost a year). If you want to start out with $50, thats cool, but play with the expectation of winning 5-10 bucks in a week. Seriously, thats almost a %20 return, and that beats the hell out of any stock or bond, so look at it that way!

Also, a word on what type of games to play:

I will say this:

1. I hate cash games where buy in is $50 or less. This money means little to most of the people playing and it shows. You will either be up $100 in an hour, or out your whole $50. At least in my experience.

2. I never play re-buy/add-ons. Ever.

As for the rest? I am not sure, I think you can safely do about anything else. The low limit games will be wild, and bad beats will get you from time to time. But hey, it is also the 'easiest money', so there ya go.

Oh, and I would never ever get into this stuff without at least 15X20 banked in the limit you are playing. What I mean is this:

If you play $20 NL sit and go's, I'd think you should start with a minimum of $300-400. That way, ifyou lose 6-7 in a row, you can still win 3 and be right where you started. If you lose 6-7 in a row startin with $200-100, than, well, goodbye money.

As far as cash, if you have $400, than I'd get into cash games. If not, I personally wouldn't start getting involved at all, because no limit is small enough to be adequately backed by $100 or less.

Strategy: What to play

Determine what you are good at. Try to stick to it. I love tournaments. I think it was born from beginning my play with no real bankroll, without the ability to win any big stakes unless I won a HUGE tournament. So, my style is suited to knocking out bad players, winning a few big hands, trying to stay afloat long enough to make a run and becoming a factor to win the whole thing in the end. My style isn't that loose, so if I don't get cards I can lose a good deal of money from the blinds and loose calls in a cash game. Also, I rarely feel that much satisfaction winning 1%-10% of my starting bankroll at a table, which you need to learn to do in order to make consistent money in ring games. To steal a line from the Boo-yah! king, "Bulls make money, Bears make money, Hogs get slaughtered." So if you like to make steady cash and have the skill to handle big swings, be a cash game guy. If you like the challenge of bearing down to win the big prize, I'd suggest learning tournament play.

More on picking your games...

Once you realize what you are good at, I would suggest sticking to it. Let me give you a common mistake I make:

10$ NL sit-n-go, 3rd place

10$ NL sit-n-go, 2nd place

10$ NL sit-n-go, DNF

10$ NL sit-n-go, 1st place

30$ NL sit-n-go, DNF

so lets see, we won %60 that day. Took home a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place all within one day, and what is there to show for it?

Less than 25 bucks. Wanna see how?

(10+1)4 = 44

(30 +3) = 33

total spent = 77

$20 win

$30 win

$50 win

total winning = 100

+/- = $23

$23?? demoralizing!!! You just won %60 of your matches and only walked away with 30% profit.

True, one 1st place in the $30 game using the winnings from the other games would have been a BIG BIG gain. And once in a while, (if you are playing with winnings on the day) you can go ahead and do this, BUT, statistically, you're not likely to cash in %80 your tourneys in a day. The best guys are somewhere around %50 of them.

Had I stuck with the gameplan for the day:

$10 NL sit-n-go = 3rd place

$10 NL sit-n-go = 2nd place

$10 NL sit-n-go = DNF

$10 NL sit-n-go = 1st place

$10 NL sit-n-go = DNF

Winnings = $100

Spent = $55

+/- = $45

Almost %90 profit!

Again, you can try to cash in on a good day by increasing the limits you are playing sometimes, but realize its BAD ODDS. You're prowess at playing DOES make you a good contender to win at any level, but the laws of statistics can't be ignored, and no matter who you are, winning a big streak of games in a row isn't likely. All it is likely to do is make you angry you did all that winning and ended up with little to show for it. This could lead to going on tilt next time, trying to get back all that "imagined profit" you "should have had".

Anyway, any ideas of your own, feel free to comment and I will post them. I would continue, but I gotta run and see if I find any good Christmas presents for the family.....

If you are good at poker, you can make some money. If you think it's the lotto, it will end up being the lotto. And how many of your friends have won the lotto?

Cheat at Poker. 100% Legal!

I am about to reveal to you a foolproof way to cheat at online poker. It's totally legal and can be used at a variety of sites, such as absolute, bodog..etc. Its been working now for too long, and I feel like I must finally put a kabash to this once and for all. This is no poker scam or computer program, this is most effective form of cheating available, and I trust that you all will use this information for the greater good, instead of evil (riiiiiiggghhhht hah).





What is this?





Its so simple, its painful.











Ready?



































Yes. that's right. People are putting up pictures of hot girls as their "player faces" or "player pics" or whatever you call them. They are the images that show up around the table on the sites that allow for images.


How is this cheating? What are you suggesting? Are you suggesting that people will intentionally lose their money to players who they think are hot girls?


I am not suggesting that. I am telling you that. This is a fact.

I have many stories that completely prove this to be true, but my favorite is from a Multi-Table $50 NL/Hold-Em tourney I played a while ago. There were somewhere around 300 players in the tournament, and I ended up at a table with one player who had a picture up of a pretty attractive woman. Regardless of whether or not it was really her was besides the point.

This player, we will call her {pokergirl} - had about 1/10th the average stack with around 100 players left to go. She pushed a couple of times, even out of position, in a desperate attempt to hang around. Something kept happening.

Everyone would fold.
"NH {pokergirl}"
"{pokergirl}, where in TX are you from?"
"I'd like to see ya stick around {pokergirl}".

At first I didn't believe what I was seeing. People were folding in situations you HAD to call. People with big blinds out that were about 7/8ths the size of her whole stack. No matter what, she NEVER had to go all-in against more than one person.

Everytime someone would call her all-in, everyone after would fold religiously.

"Go {pokergirl}!"
"You are on one heckuva run baby!"
"VNH {pokergirl}"
"way to go!"


It was insane. After about an hour of this I realized, these people weren't even playing poker. I was sitting at a table of 9 (probably 10) grown men, all flirting with the photograph they saw on the screen.

"Aw thanks u guys!" she would say.
"u guyz are sweet!~@"
"nh {dumbass cracker} - ure quite a playa!"

{Pokergirl} was playing right into it, too. And loving every second of it. She/He stayed at around 1/10th - 1/15th the average stack, for WAY longer than humanly possible in a card game. Everytime someone had a chance to knock her out, it was folded. Everytime she was on the big blind, everyone became as active as Dan Harrington in a coma.

Not only were people acting directly into the interests of this {pokergirl}, but the dudes around the table even decided to have contests of manliness every 2 or 3 hands, where big stacks were going at each other with the ferocity of a wolverine, and the intelligence of a donkey.

I know poker players are often big dumb idiots. But even I never thought it would get to be this bad.


{pokergirl} never once had more chips than me at the table except once. She ended up finishing in 8th place -- not bad considering she should've been gone 3 hours before that. I ended up making a little coin as well, taking 12th place. But I left with a taste of injustice in my mouth, for I had seen the best con-job ever pulled at a poker table, and I hated {pokergirl} for it.

Why? Well, again, simple. I was mad that I didn't think of it first.


Giving your money away to a hot girl at the poker table will not help your chances of sleeping with her. Especially if the girl is 12,301 miles away, and also happens to be a 45 year-old balding man.

An Ode to the Skill of Online Poker Players: A Tale of 60 Dollars.

To those who recieved a portion of my 60 dollars last night, I bid you congratulations!

You, who called me with 10 4 offsuit, against my AQ suited, you stole the last 5 dollars from the gold rush bonanza that was my small bankroll yesterday evening. You got the last lucky buck from my brimming plethora of cowboy coin! You especially had me when that A 10 5 flop came, you knew exactly how to push my buttons! Whether it was the re-raise you called on the turn, where an 8 of clubs quietly clouded my visions of victory, or the mastery in which you called my 400 chip raise on the river, I can say little more than bravo. You never forgot that old mantra, "Call the pre-flop raise with any two, and wait for the 10 on the river save you."

But you, sir, were but a small winner in yesterday's who's who of poker genius and skill last evening. Others made off with much more of my foolish bounty! For instance, how about the owner of the K5 that hit on the river against my JJ! Whoever that savy smithy of cardsmanship was, you my friend, are an idol and an inspiration! The poise you showed when calling those lowly JJ preflop, 7 handed, was only surpassed by the ferocity you showed in your finishing "All-in" after the K on the river! Alas! I have forgotten your budda-like wisdom and grace while making the substantial blind calls on the turn and 4th street! Surely knowing I held top pair until the very end, you baited me and baited me until I couldn't help but fall for your irresistible K5 beartrap.

There is so many others, I wish I had the voice to boom my heartfelt praise upon you all from the highest mountain! I can at least take comfort knowing I was not befuddled and confounded by mere fools: you are all masters of your craft. I will take your lessons, oh poker prophets, and with great perseverence and persistence, I hope to one day achieve your levels of enlightenment. I realize this will take time, for I know I don't possess the guile nor the God-given ability to play 84 off-suit all in heads up, short-stacked after having tricked the opponent into thinking they had the match won by letting them call with AQ suited. Boy, when that 84 hit and won the pot, your moxy and grit showed through like no other. Imagine my surprise, however, when I learned that the skill you displayed in that hand was not reserved to a single showing! The 7J off suit seemed small at first against my A10, but as the cards fell down I realized that I was once again part of a plan much too grandiose for my short vision to fully comprehend. I'm guessing I was blessed enough to see a small glimpse of it, though, when later in the match I felt compelled to raise your "call" offering with KQ, only to be outrun to the finish line by K8.

Encore, Encore!!

When my 10 Q hit on the 10 Q 8 flop in the 6 handed $12 game, I was a bit down on my luck and waiting to strike back against the countless cash capers that had confounded me. In this particular case, my 400 chip raise to the man that had out lasted me with such great hands as Q4 suited and 610 of diamonds seemed like a noble effort to return some of the game's chips to their once rightful owner. But like a great poker legend, you knew when to put the hammer down. "J9 is all he can beat me with" I said to myself in a desperate attempt to win the prize, trying to feel a smile coming on inside over what I thought was an impending vict'ry.

The showdown was my instead to my demise, as your skillful CGI hands flipped over the winning hand, J9. My will dashed once again, I thought your play to be childish and reckless, one that relied simply on luck and a prayer. That was, until, I realized that you had called my 4X big blind raise before the flop! Ha, I truly am an apprentice, fine sir, and you, you are the master.


I do have one small crumb of hope however. It is this, though these poker lessons I have been taught are still above my current level of comprehension, another lesson of easier digestion has come to rest alongside. I've learned that when playing for such small fortunes as the ones I play for, card playing even as poorly novice as mine, catches enough lucky twists of fate to return a small profit.




When playing for less than $20 at a time, know that you will have days where you should be up $160, BUT some dickhead had a horseshoe up his ass.

Bally Total Fitness is Run by Cold-Blooded Reptilian Vampire Parasites

I really hate Bally Total Fitness. I'm going to tell you exactly why.

Before I go on, you should know that I am a member of Bally Total Fitness, unfortunately. I can't stop until next June, because my GYM has me locked into a BS multi-year contract. I am an idiot for having signed it, but never in a million years did I think it could be as big of a joke as it is. And yes, I do have a motivation to insult them on the internet in secret hopes that they will be pissed at me and kick me out of my contract (which would be sweet, sweet relief). Alas, I doubt that this organization could ever do anything so positive for a human being.

First of all, let me delve into how CHEAP Bally Total Fitness is, as a corporation. Over the course of my contract, I will have given Bally Total fitness upwards of $1,100. I will use their often broke-ass treadmills, search for one open bench on a wednesday afternoon because they only have three, and wait 3-4 minutes every time I want to do a simple pull-up, just because they only seem to want to put pull-up/chin-up bars in when they are a part of those rediculous total-gym contraptions that hilarious dudes always do tricep extensions on in the strangest positions known to man. I will try to swim laps in their pool, which is always kept at way too warm a temperature to do much of anything other than float, and even more often than that, isn't clear enough to see through when you are swimming. I would have even frequented their sauna and steam rooms from time to time, but, well, an employee told me about what happened in one of those one week, and then said "that stuff happens here more than you'd ever imagine." OKAY. Case closed already, right? Well just wait.

Again, remember, I'm a $1,100 customer. A while ago I threw my wallet into the trash by accident, freak thing - great story - but the point is, i salvaged everything except my Bally's card. It was gone in the trash. I told a woman working the counter about losing my wallet in the trash, and that I could use another membership card. She found my profile (which says PLATINUM member on it btw) and we laughed about the story. She took my picture, then printed out the card on the .08 cents of plastic that it is printed on.

"Ten dollars please."
"Excuse me?"
"The new card will be $10."
PAUSE. PAUSE.
"Are you putting me on?"
"Er, no sir."

I was baffled. You have a $1,100 customer who pays you guys more than $1.25 a DAY just to use the place (which I couldn't possibly get to everyday even if I tried). Mind you, thats supposed to be a deal to them -- and you are going to charge him $10 for a new card to USE at the gym that you are trying to get him to stay at? Don't you WANT him to extend his bullshit contract another crappy 2-3 years? Why would you needle him, especially since he notices the indignant sneers the "personal trainers" give him when they watch him do exercises and routines that include elements that they have never seen before or tried before. Sometimes, they even say something "Why are you doing that exercise?"
"I learned it at IMG academy when I was in athletics. It's great."
"You could get hurt doing that you should stop."
"I've been doing this for 7 years."
GLARE - Walk away. Way to go, personal trainers. As if I wanted to hire you to run some overpriced workouts for me anyway.

Oh yea, and about these personal trainers. News flash, they charge over 80 BUCKS a workout, at least many of them do. And they try to get everyone to sign up for them, IMMEDIATELY, when you become a member. They pretty much make you do a "free workout" right away, and then you have to sit in a room and listen to a schpiel for 30 minutes, at which the end is them circling you and pressuring you to sign up. NO WONDER i see so many sheepish people who don't know their head from their behind sign up for those things. HOLY COW - "Welcome to Bally Total Fitness! Come in here for your free Spanish Inquisition!!"

And what do you get for 80 BUCKS a lesson (1 hour)?

This is the qualifications for a personal trainer at Bally Total Fitness - right off their website:

Personal Trainer
We are looking for enthusiastic, professional and knowledgeable personal trainers for full and part time personal training positions. As a member of Bally Total Fitness’ personal training team you will assess, motivate, and educate your clients through personalized nutrition and exercise plans that you help create. Flexible work schedules are available.

Job Requirements
A high school diploma or equivalent, plus a company recognized personal training certification (within 90 days of hire) or a bachelor’s or masters’ degree in fitness related field.


OR a college degree in their field? Are you serious!! For 80 bucks an hour you BETTER be an expert. You better not be someone who is good at exercise (or if you've seen some of these people, some that aren't) and took a 90 day training class.

OH YEAH - and this training class doesn't even have to be put on by an outside certification program or an accredited collegiate movement science/kinesiology program.

THEY RUN THE CLASSES THEMSELVES IN THE BUILDING. And how long do you think that the training program lasts? Well I would guess it isn't more than 90 DAYS. People go to college for 4-7 years to earn that kind of money. I'm not saying these people should be paid some money to help people work out: you can learn something in 90 days, but all you can really be at that point is a really educated workout partner. No way can you diagnose correct lifting positions, identify physiological strengths and weaknesses, accurately assess minor injuries and implement rehabilitation routines, recommend flexibility, strength, and cardio-vascular workout regiments and develop explosive power and energy in a wide wide wide range of people in a 90 day class. And yes, that is the service extent that you should expect when you are signing up for upwards of $800-1000 worth of lessons - if not much more!!!


BUT - my hatred doesn't stop there. That isn't even what makes me the most upset. They could have overpriced trainers, bad machines, crowded lockerrooms, and other maladies, and they still wouldn't be that much different than some gyms (aside from being more expensive).

NO NO NO, what really really makes me sick is that they are selling people FOOD and DRINKS in the facility. Yes, you can buy BallyBlast energy bars, energy shakes, and other various (and for 99% of the people in the club TOTALLY WORTHLESS) products. You can even buy body-building compounds and steriod-like products (very shady supplement stuff) for the guys who think they should do that. There ARE SHAKE MENU's over some of the water fountains! (IF you can actually find a water fountain in the club - the Schaumburg, IL Bally's only has ONE that men can access, and it is legitimately RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOWERS -- real convienient)

What they REFUSE to tell people is this:

This may come as a shock to many of you - but you need to hear this. 85-90% of the people in the gym are NOT WORKING HARD ENOUGH to get any benefit out of a shake or an "energy bar". Let me give you the facts: there are good things in those, stuff that is healthy. BUT, they are calorie/energy rich, often times with 300-500 calories in some of those shakes. If you do this at the gym:

ride the eliptical for 30 minutes, or
walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes, or
do about 1/3 of your workout stretching and doing light dumbbell work, or
work up a light sweat and feel winded when you are done for the day...

YOU ARE EXERCISING. YOU ARE NOT TRAINING. Exercise is GREAT! Everyone should do it! HOWEVER, it burns about...300-500 calories an hour, maybe up to 600-700 if you are a bigger person. What you should do when you are done exercising is drink a lot of water, possibly have a SMALL snack (granola bar, 120 calories, apple, 60-80 calories, or a banana ~ 100 calories) and REST. Then, about an hour-2 hours later, when you inevitably get hungry, you should make a healthy meal. THIS WILL RESULT IN MODERATE, CONSISTENT WEIGHT LOSS FOR ALMOST EVERYONE AND PROBABLY HELP THEM ACHIEVE WHAT THEY WANT - WHICH IS LOSE UNWANTED POUNDS.


Protein Bars. Big Energy Bars. Energy/Protein Shakes. Creatine/Supplements. THESE ARE FOR PEOPLE WHO TRAIN.

You can tell people who are TRAINING. They are lifting weights, for at least 45 minutes, anywhere from 1X-3X their body weight depending on the exercises. multiple sets, multiple reps. They are running or biking until they are DRIPPING WET. They are doing sprints, doing squats, stretching in the beginning, stretching at the end, and definitely showering and changing when its all said and done. This is more than exercising. People who are training are usually doing so for some athletic pursuit, personal fitness goal (such as having <7-8%>Also - you can bet people who TRAIN know if they need a protein shake or an energy bar or some other supplement combination. They ALREADY KNOW. They don't need a menu over the water fountain. In fact, they probably already brought their own stuff to the gym anyway.


So Bally's - STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF the average guy or girl who walks into your gym. They will spend $4 on your stupid stuff everytime, because you are telling them its healthy and that they should. You might be giving them good nutrition, but you are giving them way too much of it and too many calories, and you are just keeping them from succeeding at what they are setting out to do to begin with.


Okay, one last thing. The company's latest promotion is a "2 Week free membership".

Okay, guys, just stop. This is rediculous. Again, off the website - let's look at the 2 week free membership:

Your free 2-week Bally Membership includes:
Usage of the Bally Total Fitness or Bally Sports Club of your choice.

- DUH!
Access to all Group Exercise classes including Cardiovascular, Resistance Training Toning, and Flexibility workouts and specialty classes such as Pilates, Boxing, and more

- Okay, Duh again.

Access to our new online weight loss program, Built To Fitsm, the perfect balance between nutrition, exercise and support.

A promo for all of the FOOD and DRINK you guys are selling! Let me guess, you are going to design a diet that includes a bunch of stuff you can buy from Bally's !?

A 1-hour one-on-one session with a Ballysm Personal Trainer where they will help you: (oh this should be good...)

Determine your current body composition by measuring your Height, Weight, Body Fat
Percentage and Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR).
The have a scale and a ruler! And they will pinch you, and tell you what you already know, if you are fat or not.

Assess your fitness levels with 3 nationally standardized tests
Cardiovascular Endurance – FIT Test - a treadmill around 5.0 mph. Hard for some I'm sure, but you could tell that just by looking at someone. Not an eye opening experience.
Muscular Fitness – Curl-Up Test - Curl you arms up. Okay, great!
Flexibility – Sit and Reach Test - what you all did in 5th grade

Experience a dynamic workout including High-Intensity Exercise, Calisthenics and Plyometrics,
Your trainer knows some exercises! Actually, this is probably the only thing I can think of so far that actually could potentially benefit a customer in this 2 week trial.

Small Apparatus Exercise and Active Recovery - Fancy terms for being told to keep moving throughout the workout.

Cool down with a relaxing partner-assisted stretch - This sounds creepy.

Gain access to the knowledge you need for your own Total Fitness plan.
You will be shown a pricing sheet for the lessons, then recommended to get them regardless of how in shape or out of shape you are.
*expiration date as it is printed on guest pass


Bally Total Fitness is an organization most interested in sucking every last penny out of the people that work out there. They are taking what could be a great service and making it shady. They don't spend the money they make on keeping the clubs clean or laying them out effectively. They don't have enough space between machines, and they don't make good use of the space they have. They try to hire too many under-qualified people in the business of making huge bucks on mediocre-at-best workout plans, instead of hiring less people who are MUCH more qualified to help people do absolutely anything they want to. They should keep the people they hire, but they should be there for spotting lifts when you need it, or getting you a towel. They are using their powers to actually hinder members' personal goals (again, average member is a person who exercises and just wants to lose weight) instead of help them along as much as they could.

I just want to say, to anyone out there that is a trainer at Bally's - I know I make you sound terrible in this, and I'm sorry. I actually don't have anything against you guys - in that I'm sure given time and a fair business plan, you guys could all be great, adequately compensated trainers some day. However, the situation your company puts you in makes you guys look like nothing more than used-car/fitness-product salespeople.


This is why I hate Bally Total Fitness. God bless humble, local rec-centers.

Refined Food - Unrefined Results

An interesting program that I found worth mentioning today:

http://urbansprouts.blogspot.com/

In case anyone hasn't noticed, America is fat. I am not sure if we are getting any better on this front of if we are getting worse, but I know that if you look at the stats from the last 20 years, it isn't good.

We have a schizophrenic attitude towards this. We celebrate the consumption of a huge ice-cream sundae, amazing pizza pie, donuts, double-cheeseburgers and my personal favorite, french fries. However, we also shun the results of that activity, and try to promote "looking good" and getting into shape.

My take? If you are willing to use your brain, you can have the best of both worlds. For anyone who isn't an active person, I would say that I am 99.9% sure you are missing out. Simply moving your body around isn't an issue. You have energy on a daily basis. You can breathe better. You sleep better. And hey, you look better. You can go do whatever you want to do - its amazing the everyday things that people miss out on because their bodies physically can't do it.

So, if you do want to treat your body better and feel healthier than ever before, I am telling you that you can do it with two things.

One: Exercise. And yes, it will probably be hard for a while if you aren't active. Do it, regardless of how much at first. Starting small is fine BUT you can't miss it entirely, and once you start, you have to progress to doing more and more each time. Unless you are over 50 or getting over a medical condition, don't count just walking. Once you get into a healthier mindset, walking will no longer be thought of as an "exercise" you did, it will simply be what happens when you want to go somewhere on foot. The only catch-22 about exercise is as the better your body gets at something, the easier it becomes for it (more efficient) and therefore, burns less energy doing it. That's why you have to progress upwards. On the good side, the more strength you build, the more good mass you will have. This extra muscle (less fat too) will consequently burn more energy for you.

If anyone needs any ideas on what exercises could be fun, I've got a million ideas. Also, you can just take up a rec sport you like, or if you want to get serious, check out crossfit.


Two: Eat unrefined foods as your regular routine. What kills people isn't that they eat ice cream on Sunday night, or order a Pizza on Friday night, or drink 6 beers Saturday. Sometimes people actually eat so much bad food in one sitting that the body doesn't absorb a lot of it anyway, and once it passes through the body it doesn't do that much damage. HOWEVER, what people screw up with is drinking 4 cokes a day (me), putting 3 sugar packets in their coffee instead of one, eating fritos or cheetos with lunch instead of a giant pear or banana, eating white bread instead of 7-grain/wheat bread, having donuts for breakfast instead of one bowl of cereal, getting fries with their Big Macs instead of getting a salad, and the biggest, shopping and eating out of boxes, bags, and cans, instead of what is in the produce section and fresh meat section.

Pay attention to this, because you need to understand this concept. Companies refine the sugars in their processed foods. The fiber that fills you up usually and passes through the body gets replaced by simple sugars that the body can digest. Food sometimes tastes better because of it (usually not) but either way, what happens is that what FEELS to your body like 2500 calories of food in a day is actually 4500-5000. This information is out there, but it actually takes a little digging and for some reason this isn't mentioned often at all. This isn't always about avoiding sugars, chocolate, bread and candy. Its much more about avoiding refined"regular" foods in your daily routine.


As for the original link about the school kids (if you haven't clicked it, I'd do so), and getting people to live healthier at an early age, I have to say some of the funniest progress is being made. Recently in Illinois soda-machines were banned. Which I guess is a good step - except that fruit juice boxes/bottles were being substituted in many of the schools I've seen for myself. (Hint: It's usually not real fruit juice, and which one do you think has more refined sugar in it? You guessed it.) Also, the average school lunch I've seen made includes:

white breadsticks and butter glaze (almost gauranteed to be made with refined flour)
fruit snacks (100% refined sugar)
Grilled cheese (POSSIBLY a good choice, except that its pretty likely the cheese and bread are both refined)
pizza (ok)
ice cream bars (sometimes, but everyday?)
frozen fruit popsicles (see fruit juice boxes to understand if that makes you fat or not)
french fries (oh boy)


Now, I understand, bread and cheese and fat are cheap. But so is corn, so are carrots, so are apples, so are baked potatoes - chicken is a pretty inexpensive meat, and bread can be sold and bought with all of the grains, fibers, and minerals still left inside. Don't forget that even fried food wouldn't be 1/2 as bad for you if we always used oils without trans fats and we always used unrefined flours to batter them in.

If we replaced the word and the concept of "dessert" with "refined foods", and treated all other kinds of food as our typical meals, we'd get to keep all the stuff we love, eat until we were filled up, and have the energy to burn and the waistlines to be proud of.

Deal'em

A quick foreword: I am currently working on updating this place to be more of what its intended to be. With some free time this week, I've made a little progress. Currently, things are still very much under construction. If anyone has any tips for someone teaching themselves html, please let me know. And no, I don't have time to take a course. (Though eventually I might make time)

Anyway, back to the original topic: I happen to be a poker buff. I've been playing casually since I was in the 8th grade, and yes, when Rounders came out years ago, it was the coolest thing I have ever seen.

It's possible that my feelings could be more than just an opinion too; look around the Internet, the television, anywhere, poker has been catching like wildfire ever since the movie's release.

But anyway, a while ago I wrote a quick thing on how the U.S. has basically put the axe on American poker play over the Internet. Being someone who had participated in it for many years, I was heartbroken to say the least.

Doing some research on the law, it turns out that it doesn't affect me as a player - and it is still legal for me to participate. However, sites accepting money for such games have (according to many) been banned from taking American money, and so indirectly its lead to dramatic decline in American play.

However, people have marched on and play seems to have continued on as normal, albeit now in somewhat different clothing.

As for the extent of my pursuits - I have always been what I would call a casual player. I've made money in cards, but we are taking 100s of dollars, not big bucks by any means. I play 10 dollar, 20 dollar sit-and-go tables as a general rule, and I do that usually just to make enough money to enter small-money tournaments, which I find to be by far the most entertaining form of the game.

Beyond the pocket change I've spent or earned on poker over the years, it has endeared me for a lot of sentimental reasons as well. Being a broke-ass college kid, without the time during the day to work (school/athletics), the hobby was a great way to spend time avoiding studying for unwanted exams at 1am - or a good reason to stay in and avoid partying for a night when you just didn't feel like spending the money/brain cells. A certain poker site once offered me 10 free dollars to join - which I managed to turn into 180 dollars without risking a dime. I used almost every penny of that to get Wendy's when I was hungry or chip in 10 bucks when our house needed fixing. Poker also saved me after my senior season was over. I was looking to start finding something to do with my life back in Chicago, but I didn't have much - not even enough money for a train ticket back. Poker bought me a $1000 vehicle which I drove for 6 months. It was my first vehicle purchase of my life - whatever happened to that Cutlass Cierra?

I've finished 4th out of 617 in a tournament once, I've finished first out of 10 an uncountable number of times. I've finished 12th, 10th, and 9th in tournaments that included 2000+ people. I've been up 800 bucks in one day, I've been down 200 in 2 hours. I've beaten AA heads up to stay alive, and I've lost with AA, KK, QQ, and KKoverQQQ in the same day. I am far from experienced enough to consider myself a real guru, but I'd make a great ringer as a guest at a random game.

To anyone interested in ever playing, I would definitely recommend it. However, remember these things:

1) It takes some time (about 10,000 hands) to really get a feel for.

2) It's extremely fun and addicting.

3) It takes a good deal of poise. Because, you will get completely screwed about 10000 times. You will also get your fair share of luck along the way.

4) In the end, it's a game of skill. The better you get, the better you will do. You are likely to lose money for a while before you make it.

If this seems like something you would be interested in, go for it man. I think you'll have a great time. How do you go about getting started?

Well, like I said before, depending on where you are from, there are some places that you can, can't and shouldn't go. I will say this:

1) You should be safe and cautious. Start only with sites that are recommended, like PartyPoker, PacificPoker, Bodog, PokerStars, Absolute Poker...etc. If you haven't heard of it from somewhere before, don't use the service.

2) Spend only what you can afford to lose. It isn't gambling, but you gotta treat it like gambling, know what I mean? Don't go in expecting it to be an ATM machine for you, especially if you are new.

3) Keep it entertainment. Play big stakes, small stakes, no stakes - whatever. But always keep it as entertainment. I'm not big on poker professionals. Listen, there are a lot of ways you can make a living in the world and do some constructive good at the same time. Spending 10 hours a day playing cards doesn't seem to me like a great way to do either.

Check out some of the blogs linked on here. You'll read some funny stuff about cards. Like the time I lost 75 bucks with KKK/AA to four of a kind 3's, ran around the room punching myself and doing somersaults around the room in agony.

Finger pointing and Fire bombing.

A brief smattering of viewpoints on the recent Iraqi sectarian violence. I would encourage everyone to read each story, and notice two things:
1) The languaged used to describe the same events.
2) The main idea that each article is conveying.

http://www.asiantribune.com/index.php?q=node/3396

http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/L25724169.htm

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/24/AR2006112401317.html

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/six-burnt-alive-in-fresh-iraqi-brutality/2006/11/25/1164341454474.html

http://www.suntimes.com/news/world/149069,CST-NWS-iraq25.article

http://www.channel4.com/news/special-reports/special-reports-storypage.jsp?id=3990

Why read these? Just to point out that 1) The world is a long way from actually seeing an objective, accurate form of news reporting - in fact, its probable that we will never have that; and 2) In the history of resolving conflicts, assigning blame and looking out for your own interests has never resulted in a successful resolution.

Kudos to all people who work to make peace - it is no small mountain to climb.

Thanks, Man.

Thanksgiving dinner. Is there a better moment?

Its the only dinner in my family that we anticipate so much that we actually serve it well before 2pm. It is also one of those days that seems to make everyone think back to when they were a little kid. No, not as much as Christmas, but for instance, who doesn't remember how much they didn't like green bean casserole as a kid, or how much they loved pumpkin pie, and wondered why in the world it wasn't served all year long? Who doesn't remember making handprint turkeys for their parents, and drawing oddly shaped sketches of the pilgrims and Indians?

Of course, for those who are just growing up right now, they might not have all of those memories. I'm guessing today's little ones are learning about Pilgrims and Native Americans, and they are also learning how to navigate their new Nintendo Wii's and Playstation 3's, which are now released right before Thanksgiving instead of right before Christmas shopping season. But then when you think about it, we actually consider pre-Thanksgiving AS the beginning of shopping season. Whatever happened to the official kickoff of that stuff happening the Friday morning after? Now, that's not the kickoff, its just mid-shopping season rush.

But before I start sounding like a "in myyyy day" crotchety old wind bag, lets just say this: just because things are changing doesn't make them any worse. As a kid, I had 1000 things to be thankful for, and the only thing that's changed about that is that today, I'm sure I have even more.

Thank God for On Demand. To even argue that life was better without that is a completely ridiculous argument. And while we are at it, lets just give a giant shout out to computers, my MP3 player, my instant messenger, my cell phone, my automatic door opener-clicker thingy, my favorite radio shows streaming online, and any other forms of technology that I use on a daily basis, such as zippers, doors, appliances, bottle openers, egg-beaters, and even occasionally, hangers.

Thank God we can talk to anyone we want to, almost anytime we want to, about almost anything we want to. Thank God for skyscrapers, cab drivers, and cities that never sleep. Thank God for newswires, .com's and blogs -- and also thank God for the Northwoods, crickets, the Northern Lights, and logs for a campfire.

Thank God for free enterprise, companies, home-owners and a guarantee. Also, thank God for unions, protesters, laws and rights of every man woman and child of our country.

Thank God for free-trade, thank God for java chip, thank God for "original formula" and thank God for longnecks. Thank God for low-fat, rec. centers and WebMD, but also thank God for bratwursts, extra cheese, baskets of fries and frozen custard.

Thank God for movie reviews, preview trailers, and even your friends that have terrible taste in movies.

Thank God for baseball. Thank God that soccer is there to amuse everyone in the world who isn't evolved enough to love baseball.

Thank God my fantasy football team is bad enough to not cause me to waste anymore time on it than I already do.

Thank God for Weezer. Thank God for old school bands that rock. Thank God for music that you never heard of, and you've wondered where its been all your life. But while I'm at it, thank God for JaRule, The Game, Nelly, and all the other players out there. Keep it real fellas, and remember, one day, if you work hard enough, you might be able to put out a track as good as Lupe's.

Thank God for volunteers. As long as there's at least one, the world's better off than it was before.

And thank God there's corporate marketing campaigns. Someone needs to take credit for all that work that the volunteers do (-;

Thank God for our troops. Thank God I haven't lost any friends because of the fighting yet.

Thank God for summer. Thank God for snow.

Thank God for Big Mac's, Big boy clothes, big wheels, and that creepy Big Boy logo.

Thank God for small ball, small favors and small frosties.

Thank God for wrestling, naval engineering, and space exploration - a few things that small guys have a distinct advantage in.

Thank God for long lists, and thank God for short memories.

Thank God for people who mean well but screw up.

Thank God for people who didn't know any better, but ended up totally saving the day.

Thank God for bad stories, good stories, and stories we can't repeat.

Thank God for dark truths and white lies.

Thank God for risks, rewards, taking chances and losing it all.

Thank God most people don't think like me or you, but thank God at least someone does.

Like I said before, there's 1000's of things to be thankful for. Thank God I'm not smart enough to think of them all.

But thank God you all are. I'm sure I forgot more things than I remembered - thanks for reading and thanks for sharing. Happy Thanksgiving!

Michigan - Ohio State 2006 (Inches Speech)

Mid-Term Mayhem Baby

As the dust has settled this evening, there's a significantly simple thing that can be taken from the way things went.


The Democratic party will have their chance to make reforms. There's a significant amount of changes that need to be made.

Before I get into what I think needs to be done in Illinois and in the US, let me make two points:

1) Blagojevich stands for a lot of good things. To be honest, so far he hasnt been that successful at doing what he says he will do. Schools, pension, and our state's position on guns and minimum wage need to improve! Quick.

2) Kudos to Roskam, Kirk, Lahood, and Shimkus, and whoever else was GOP and won their races in Illinois. It was almost a clean sweep, and I would think that this means that the repubilcans that did happen to win must be good candidates - fit to do a great job. (and yes, I know, it reflects that there are a few conservative districts. but if you saw how horribly bad the dems won everything today, I'd say any republican that won anything in illinois as a pretty good candidate.)


Anyway, theres lots of stuff that needs fixing. We will see how well it goes now that we have some changes in govt. Lets see....


1) Troops need to come home.

2) Federal minimum wage needs to be increased, as many states have already acted on this already.

3) Health care systems must find a way to lower the costs of perscription drugs.

4) Our schools spend too much money to not be a world leader in educating kids. We need smaller classes, a more comprehensive school day, increased emphasis on math and foreign languages.

5) Social security must either be protected, or be reinvested in a form that will benefit the most people that will be retired 20-40 years from now.

6) Foriegn policy as a whole must be re-thought to actually benefit human interest, instead of simply American economic interest.

7) Corporate accounting practices must be reformed.

8) Our college educations need to mean more.



For a funnier take on this whole thing, watch last night's Colbert Report on Comedy Central. That guy is hilariously biting, on both sides. Genius.

Anyway, have a good evening. Until the next election, remember to voice your opinion, remember to put others first, and above all, try the best ya can to help the nation and your neighborhood improve. No matter what side you are on, keep your heart in the right place.

You know how I know your gay?

Uh oh, I like coldplay.

Madden Guide - Lesson 1

A good game to cover some important points about Madden. This game was never in doubt, and really wasn't close to the 20-13 score it ended up being. A late touchdown from QB Grossman (BUCS) to WR Jurevicius (BUCS) occured because of a blown coverage on a 3rd and 13.
Opening Remarks:
Some things you need to know before you begin. The following are absolutely required in order to become a decent player. These aren't really strategies, so much as the basics of winning that you will need to master in order to have a fighting chance. Remember, EVERY GAME, regardless of the talent level (rating system of the players) on the field, your CPU guys won't block as well as theirs, won't cover as well as theirs, and won't react to the ball as well as theirs, thats three basic tenets of playing the game on All-Madden.
The Basics:
1) You must learn to punt. Must not only be good at it, but must be willing to. If you aren't willing to, forget it and just stop because you will never win in All-Madden without punting. You will be down 30 points before you can blink.
2) You must never force a pass over the middle. Without doing this, YOU WILL STILL throw interceptions. I will go over this in a minute, but it will be hard enough throwing to WIDE OPEN guys in All-Madden, much less guys sort of covered, and even less than that, guys over the middle. Your first try at an All-Madden game will likely yield more than 12-14 INTERCEPTIONS by the other team. This is probably required to fully understand all of the stuff I will be describing to you, and you'll get exactly what I am talking about in the passing game once you see the computer behave yourself.
3) You must be willing to run a variety of plays. The computer will learn quickly and destroy your same old shit. There ARE certain tricks you can take advantage of that I will point out to you in the running game that will make it seem, at times, that you can just run the same play over and over. However, mastering 20-40 plays is really the only way you will score consistently.
4) You must learn to avoid play-action passes. Here's the thing: on All-Madden, very rarely will you actually be able to get off the play-fake, set up, and see your reciever icons come up before a DE or an LB is sacking your QB. The thing is, the CPU always knows what play you are running, and will "paddle-peek" so to speak -- in other words, they will usually call a good pass defense when you are passing, a decent run defense when you are running, and a good blitz when you are play-actioning. DOWN AND DISTANCE DOES affect its play calling, but its clearly only about 50-60 percent of its decision making process.
5) You must learn to knock down passes with DBs, and make the catch with your WR manually. This will require practice in the training camp mode. A good amount of it. You will need to learn when to hit L2 in order to knock down low, hard passes in man coverage, how to use L2 to knock down slow, floating passes to the outside, and how to use L2 to knock down the deep ball. It requires great timing, but luckily, it is the same basic skill as you have to learn in order to catch the ball manually with Y button on offense. The main tip: You have to learn to be the first person in the path of the ball to go up and get the pass, WHILE not going up to get the pass to early. Note that I said in the path of the ball, not the people the pass is intended to. If you go up to early, you will swat at nothing and jump at nothing, and the CPU will either intercept it or if they are on offense, they will catch it, and probably outrun everyone to the endzone. Its kind of intimidating. Don't worry though, there are certain things that will work to make it safer than it sounds.

To me, those 5 things are absolutely required. Without them, you're toast 100 percent of the time.

BUT back to today's game, and today's lessons.
Grossman was their QB, and in Madden he is a QB that will complete 80-90 percent of his passes for 250-350 yards in the game without pressure on him. You could play impecable coverage, but it wouldn't matter. His throws are too fast to react to many times, and often times you are better off NOT trying to swat down his passes if he is throwing to a WR one on one on the outside. You're actually better off letting them take the 8-10 yard catch, then hitting L2 after the catch is made with the CB next to the WR, which will make him do a controlled, sure tackle.
However, Deion Branch and Joe Jurevicius were their WRs - who are OKAY but not FAST - and therefore very controllable. FAST WRs with a dominating QB are the toughest to stop in All-Madden, because they will often beat man coverage deep (even 2 or 3 deep man) and they will routinely be open vs. zones.
So how to stop them? Remember the main rules. No. 1. Punt if you have to. No. 2, VARIETY- even on defense.
Now -- to expound.
We know that you need to put PRESSURE on Grossman. If you look at my stat line, he threw for 226 yards and 2 TDs, but he also was sacked 6 TIMES and lost the ball on downs twice. Also, we shut down a drive on the 5 yard line that could've tied the game in the 2nd quarter.
So Blitz? Yes, occasionally. BUT YOU NEED to learn how to get pressure with your front four.
Rule #1 - the diagrammed pass rush routes will work 2% of the time. You NEED to line audible, and do it routinely. With your linemen in a 4-3, lined up head up over their G and Ts, audible to a WIDE PASS RUSH, which will make both ends SPEED rush around and, and then DTs will take 3 technique speed rushes as well. On All-Madden, the biggest problem in rushing the passer is that when they get a chance to block man up, the OL will ALWAYS nullify your rush - you won't bull rush them, and they can bull rush you. This will work occasionally, and is a good idea on 1st and 10 and 2nd and short, because it is a decent way to pressure the pocket WHILE not totally giving up on the run.
THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO RUSH THE PASSER in Madden, on All-Madden, is to only rush 4 men, audible your line to do wide speed rush, and ALSO presnap align your DTs to 3 techniques and your DE's to 7 techniques. This means that your DEs and DTs will spread wide pre-snap, and you will have NO one over the center, and no one over both A gaps(or 1 holes).
Finally, in these rushes, you have to TRUST your DE's, and NOT be one of them -- let the CPU handle it, and use your LBs to cover the pass. You need your own eyes back there, plus...and this is big...
ONLY be a blitzing LB or a DB, NEVER be a DL on All-Madden. You can really only use speed moves effectively, and the CPU will always direct the players at better speed angles on the line that you as a human can. Trust me on this.
Finally -- The blitz -- how and when?
Good times for it:
when they get inside your own 30. Zones and no rush = giving up a TD once this happens. 2nd and short = you will stuff the run, and its a time when the risk is worth the reward ifyou get to the QB 3rd and moderately long = note i said moderately. If its 3rd and 15+ its ACTUALLY BETTER to RUSH 4, play 3 deep man, and take your chances that you will tackle them before they get to the marker, because you will 75% of the time.
HOW TO BLITZ? Glad you asked. First, lets talk about what not to do.
Blitzing 8 -NEVER. Your guys invariably get in each others way - plus on All-Madden, simply running 8 guys at 6 blockers, though logic would say it couldn't not work, usually ends up having 6 guys getting blocked head up, and the other two blitzers two busy tryin gto get through traffic to actually get to the Qb in time, leading to you getting torched.
Blitzing one LB, and slanting the other linemen away from him - NEVER. Each man ends up getting manned up, and like i said, once you get manned up by an All-Madden OL, you are done, no pressure will come of it.
There's two types of Blitzees that can work:
One man, LB or DB, up the middle STUNTING AWAY from your DE or DT slant rushing, OR
Two men blitzing, if outside, then slanting the line towards the outside rusher - if inside, than slanting the linemen AWAY from the inside rusher.
Does that make sense? So for example, if you want to rush the WLB outside, then slant the WE and the WT towards the WLB, effectively making them speed rush and the OL on that side slide protect to the left - THEN, take the WLB and speed rush AROUND all of that. Chances are, you will beat the C (who will try to slide over and protect) and you will have a shot at the QB.
Practice all of this -- FOR NOW - Just try these rushes out, and don't even BE the CB once the ball is thrown, take your lumps and completions, and rely on sacks to stop them. As you get better at knocking down the ball, you will want to pressur ethe QB with the blitz, then switch guys after the ball is released, and learn to hit l2 at the right time to have your CB (usually in man coverage with blitzes) knock down the passes that are generally thrown slightly short of their intended target (when you blitz).
Anyway, as far as on offense, the Bucs have dominating up front people that will HUNT YOUR SCRAMBLING QB DOWN and MAUL him occasionally. So dont just run out of the pocket.
Tip#1: run on 1st and 10.
Tip#2: Motion away from playside, and watch the computer overcompensate.
Tip#3: use the juke key to juke your way outside, dont just sprint as fast as you can out there, because their LBs will disengage their blockers and tackle your ass for a lot shorter gain than if you are patient, hit juke when behind a lead blocker, which will then throw your HB to the open side of the play without allowing the CPU to pursue yet,then once the opening is in front of you, just sprint ahead and get what you can.
Tip#4: As for passing right now. Motion to check if its a zone or a man. If its a man to man, try quick outs by waiting for the wideout to break, throwing a BULLET to him and then once you release the ball, hitting Y to catch it on the intended WR as soon as possible. This, oddly enough, will get your wideout to catch the ball AND stop the CB from cutting in front and picking it. If you dont do that, the CB will cut in front and knock down/INT routinely. -- IF YOU are up against a zone, try quick slants to SE side of the field. The less traffic in front the better. Again, throw a bullet, switch to intended, hit Y to catch, hope for the best. We will talk about other passes later. Move the ball and take your points, sack the QB and punt when you have to. You might not win yet, but youll be close already.....
Game two coming soon....