Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Obituary: Nokia 6610

Not to get all personal with a post here, but amongst the 1000 things I wanted to get posted up here but haven't had the time is a story.

It is a story of a cell phone.

Saturday I took the plunge and went about buying a new phone. Some of you may or may not know what my cell phone looks like, but rest assured its at least 3 years old and in cell-phone terms, a total relic.

And with the new phone on the way from "corporate" (note: there is a total sidebar story here on the strange and completely counter-productive business practices of cell-phone companies, but anyway), there's a few days in here where my phone is sort of in this life-support stage, where I know and it knows its about to be put to sleep for good, but together we hang on for a little while longer.

You see, cell phones mean nothing to me, and I have no real reason to have an attachment to this one at all. Its ugly, awkward, the buttons rarely work, has a cracked screen, the battery is shot and it never got decent reception on a consistent basis the entire time I owned it.

Despite all of this, I admit I have some strange sentimental attachment to the thing.

It has bowling and parachute on it as games - games that I know shouldn't keep a 4 year old's attention for 5 minutes, but for some reason actually had enticed me to learn how to not just figure out the controls of each game, but how to beat it entirely.

It has the memory capacity for like 3 text messages at a time before it crashes. It wasn't something I ever really cared about until one day no one called each other - they only IMed each other using phones (i.e. texted). Still, I almost grew to like having to figure out how to text people without using the "r" "s" or "t" letters because the number 7 didn't work.

I'll also never forget the time that it wouldn't hang up - the end button stopped working - and I contemplated the notion that I could, theoretically, be on the phone forever one day unless the key decided to cooperate once again. I had secretly hoped one day I would call someone who had the same problem, and then we could keep our phone call going forever and see if those unlimited nights and weekends really were unlimited.

But that doesn't really match the time I lost the phone in school, and eventually found it laying in a corner of the ole' baseball house up on S. Fifth. Next to it was an empty dip-spit bottle, usually the most disgusting thing in the world. This time though, it was second. That's because I found the contents of that dip-spit bottle spilled all over the face of the phone.

Or how about the time I needed to put together furniture in my new apartment, and I had nails, I had wood, but I didn't have a hammer? I thought the phone doubled as an extremely useful one.

Could I count the number of times it had hit the ground? Heck, I couldn't even count the number of times I found it in a puddle.

And was there a trip I took with it where I actually remembered the charger? Was there anything funnier than coming home with another one, just to put it in a pile of chargers I had that all barely worked right and never actually made me remember to bring them with me the next time?

I guess some of these questions lead me to somewhat of an understanding. As bad as it was, the thing had been through a lot with me. I treated it terribly, but I couldn't shake it - like a bad habit. I needed that thing.

And so I guess someone could understand why I care. It was a trooper. It sucked, but it had been through a lot. That was worth a little something.

But really though, gimme a break. It's a cell phone. Why write about it, above 1000s of other topics? Respect is one thing, but why am I suddenly misty-eyed and sentimental? (tongue, meet cheek)

I guess, as they say, we have to go back to the start.

It was born the day I took the "phone that came before" it in hand while stuffing clothes into a gym bag. The "phone that came before" was in the hand with my gym towel, and after I managed to get all the clothes in the bag, it was time to stuff the towel in, too. As I typically do, I like to fit too many things in too small of a holder, and this was no different. There was no room for the towel unless I stuffed it in there. And stuff is what I did. As I swung my arm back for one last stuff, the "phone that came before" accidentally slipped from my grasp on the upswing. I felt "the phone that came before" release - and I turned my head and saw it sail through the air. It sailed gracefully through the open doorway and across the hall. The arc was magnificent, and so must have been the velocity, because it continued to sail all the way across the hall and through another open door - the bathroom door. Well, almost through the bathroom door. You see, had it gone cleanly through, the phone I am eulogizing today would never have been mine. Instead, "the phone that came before" gently glanced off the bathroom door and changed direction as it began its descent to the ground.

It would never meet the ground, however. The glance was enough to hurdle it towards the toilet, where it would find one final open door. The toilet seat was up, and provided no resistance to the "phone that came before"'s impending progress to a liquid doom.

SPLOOSH. It was in one sense horrific, in another sense immaculate.
The "phone that came before" never worked again, and it was buried with the honor of having the most tragic and fantastical death ever to strike a cell phone.

Until the phone we remember today. You see, this phone didn't just take a beating and keep on ticking, this phone took a deathlike plunge even more catastrophic and impossible.

It came the day after Halloween, and again there were many things to carry and not enough hands to hold them. Our heroic phone was joined by its late-brother, an equally heroic and memorable mega-wallet that held every business card, ID card, credit card and gift card a person could ever imagine all at the same time. The phone and the wallet were joined by some keys, and they were on a journey to watch the beloved Bears at a young rogue's abode. As harmless as this sounds, terror would strike the situation before anyone could even realize what had happened.

You see, two more elements were present on this journey of death. One was a half-filled case of Miller Light long necks. It was agreed that they would make the trip back to the young rogue's abode, and because of the state of it's fluid contents needed utmost care in its transportation - it required a whole index finger to carry it with.

In the other hand, a California Raisin costume that was donned by yours truly the night before was placed on a hanger and resting within a palm. It was requested by the merchant that loaned it to me - and because of the oppressive time restraints of our agreement required that the costume make the trip - and consequently take up much needed hand space.

So here we were, one costume, one beer case, one wallet, my keys, and our tragic hero. 11 floors up, no pockets to work with and time at a premium, there was no way to make two trips for this - this had to be taken care of in one mission. How to do it?

Evil is born. The idea of using the space in the half-empty case comes to me. I place the mega-wallet and our hero inside the space. Genius. Now the hanger is picked up with my left hand. The keys in my right palm, and the beer case in the steady crook of my right index finger. I open the door, lock it carefully and am on my way.


To doom. I hit the elevator button. The door opens - I get in and JUST as it is about to close, I hear a rustle and a hustle, and I lean forward quickly to try to stop the door from shutting.

Crash. The beer case has slipped free from its iron-like shackles.

Panic. Beer is spilling everywhere. Glass is strewn about the elevator floor. More mess is to come and something needs to be done - and fast.

Open the door, pick up the case. Panic. What to do? The beer is getting everywhere.

Eureka. I run to the left, down the hall. Full sprint now, I throw open the utility door and pull open the garbage chute.

I fire the case down the chute.
Relief.

As I walk back to the elevator, I begin to think about how I will clean up the beer, and how a small mess almost turned into a big one.


And that is the point when it hit me. Tragedy. Despair. Catastrophe.

The beer, the mega-wallet, and our hero - all plunged eleven floors, drowning in suds, helplessly to their doom.


Like a mourner in denial, I coerced management to look for the bodies. I somehow obtained a carcass removal device, and dug threw the disgusting wreckage until I found the physical remains of my beloved.

The mega-wallet and the tragic hero recovered, I cleaned up and took the costume and the keys to my car. I was a shell of a man, shocked and horrified, but somehow reluctantly glad that I got to see my friends one last time.


I started my car, and began to drive away. A few minutes passed, and I grabbed our hero to try to begin cleaning and grooming it for a proper burial.

Then it happened.

Remember how I said "deathlike"?

You see, "the phone that came before" has still taken the most fantastical and impossible death plunge in the history of phones.

That is because this phone, our hero, the one that I mourn today, SURVIVED.


Cracked screen and hops-coated, it miraculously lit up. With some intensive care and prayers - it plodded on.

And it was that moment, that miraculous second that I realized I didn't just respect this phone. I loved this thing.


Rest In Peace, NOKIA 6610. You have given me more than just crappy reception, poor battery life and complete lack of status with women and friends. You have given me inspiration - and for that I will never forget.

Monday, January 29, 2007

So Sorry

I haven't gotten to posting lately - so this really hasn't even been worth checking. Stuff is coming, though. Good links, tidbits, and even original (!) work.

Until then, Go Bears. Also, check out this awesome article on city politics. As you read, play this game: How many employees of the city of Chicago are currently on disability? How many are related to city politicians? My guess is a lot, and my second guess is the overwhelming majority.

Who signed the alderman's papers?

Who signed alderman's papers?
Rival claims forgery, Solis denies it

January 29, 2007
BY ABDON M. PALLASCH Staff Reporter
The charge is serious: Ald. Danny Solis (25th), the president pro tempore of the Chicago City Council, had someone forge his notarized signatures on his statements of candidacy and economic interest while he was on a fact-finding trip to Israel with other Hispanic aldermen.



He was back from the trip before the final deadline, but they had to be filed while he was away to make him eligible for the lottery for top ballot spot for the Southwest Side ward that includes Pilsen.

Solis' attorneys have said he signed the documents himself before he left, and they expect the lawsuit filed against him Friday will be thrown out just as the electoral board threw out the charge earlier.

But Solis reportedly was seen talking angrily to his Chicago staff on his BlackBerry while in Israel, and handwriting expert Diana Marsh says whoever signed "Danny Solis" to the statement of candidacy and economic interest is not the same person who signed "Danny Solis" on all of Solis' other documents.

Solis has his own handwriting expert, Jack Calvert, who says the same person signed all of the documents. Solis has the high-powered law firm of Shefsky & Froelich as well as election law expert Burt Odelson representing him.

At least until Mayor Daley named Miguel del Valle city clerk last year, Solis was regarded as Daley's top Hispanic ally and perhaps even Daley's heir apparent -- or at least the mayor's choice to succeed Luis Gutierrez as congressman if Gutierrez retires.


Objections were tossed out
Rich Means, the election attorney who filed the case against Solis, said he was initially skeptical that the signatures were forged. A brief glance with the naked eye finds them pretty close. But after going over them with Marsh, Means said he became convinced they were "skillful forgeries."
Means said he became more convinced "by the fact that Solis has consistently refused to swear under oath that the signatures are valid and he has also refused to voluntarily give proper samples of his handwriting under supervision."

But no hearing officer has ordered Solis to do that yet, and he may never have to. So far, the objection against Solis' candidacy keeps getting tossed on procedural grounds because it was filed in two parts, each part incomplete.

Anthony Sutor, a political operative for Solis rival Ambrosio Medrano, filed the objection but forgot to include Sutor's address. Sutor is a city Transportation Department employee who has taken extensive disability leaves over the years, his current one due to stress and panic attacks caused by his divorce, he told the Chicago Sun-Times last summer.

Medrano was allowed to stay on the ballot by a Cook County judge Friday despite his conviction for taking bribes when he was alderman.

Sutor filed an amendment including his address. But the election board docketed it as a new complaint. Means argues they should be joined together since both were filed before deadline. But Solis persuaded the electoral board to keep them separate.

Medrano is also trying to bounce former Ald. Juan Soliz from the race, saying Soliz actually lives in Orland Park. Soliz says that while his wife and children live there, he spends most of his time at his home in the ward.


Lawmaker's brother running
Also in the race is Cuahutemoc "Temo" Morfin, a juvenile probation officer who owns a gym and who has been active in immigration reform demonstrations. Candidate Joe Acevedo, like Sutor, is on disability leave from his job as a city sewer worker. Acevedo is a brother of state Rep. Edward Acevedo.
Candidate Aaron del Valle is a police officer. Both del Valle and Acevedo were active in the Hispanic Democratic Organization, which used to support Solis. City Clerk Miguel del Valle has accused Aaron Del Valle of using the same style campaign posters and trying to piggyback on his campaign. Candidate Martha Padilla is an attorney.

apallasch@suntimes.com

Monday, January 22, 2007

Too much of a good thing

It's almost too perfect of a situation to frame this particular rant.

The Bears just demolished the Saints, 39-14. They are headed to the Superbowl, as underdogs, against the Indianapolis Colts.

Bookies had the Bears as 2 1/2 point favorites, and made a ton of money as people continually took their money and put them on the Saints.

What some people may not know is that in the span of 3 days, the line fell 3 POINTS from 5 1/2 to 2 1/2. What the hell happened in that amount of time that almost completely altered the line of the NFC Championship game?

No one was injured on the Bears - no one. The Saints, in fact, were the only team to lose a guy during the week when they declared Joe Horn officially unable to play sometime on Thursday. What did the bookies learn over those two days that made them think that the Saints could pull this thing off?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not one football thought or fact actually played into the line of the game moving. It moved because everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, put money on the Saints. I don't know how they would have covered those losses had the Saints actually covered the spread, because 3 people on earth would have lost.

The bookies moved the line because they were scared shitless. When the money is almost even, the bookies do okay and don't really have to worry about who wins or covers the spread. However, when everyone and their mother takes a certain team, its panic time. Everyone winning = them losing, and they can't have that.

With the line lowered to 2 1/2, the action was still all Saints. My guess is that a bunch of odds makers actually, for the first time in playoff football history, considered actually changing who was the favorite of the game midweek (at least the first time when someone was almost a touchdown favorite).

But last second, someone said something logical. "If you look at this game honestly, I think the Bears are actually the real favorite to win this thing. Let's stick it out." I'm guessing a "if we lose this its your legs, buddy" type of deal amongst them all, and they decided to give football logic the benefit of the doubt ahead of mass football hysteria.

And wow, did that decision pay off. Congrats bookies. You didn't buy the story.

What story?

The sports story that was being sold to American people on a daily basis, courtesy of ABC/ESPN. You see, ESPN actually had every single one of it's "experts" pick against the Bears. They ran features on the Saints. They routinely played them up as "unstoppable", "poised"; a team of destiny. The Bears were continually portrayed as lucky and clumsy; their QB presented not as a first year starter being the central difference in his team making the Superbowl this year, but as a man so terrible at his job, they routinely called on faulty AP reports that he was going to be benched, and even had the audacity to frame his 282 yard performance against the Seahawks as sub-par.

What resulted is a real story. 100,000s of people are out big money, and look pretty stupid right now taking a dome-team road-dog in the NFC title game. People ate up this "analysis" like it was gospel, and they are all paying for it now.

You see, no one with a hint of football logic could be that shocked the Bears won. In fact, looking back on the game now, its almost ridiculous to see how the Bears weren't at least a 7 point favorite. A 5 1/2 point line was pretty tight considering all of the shortcomings of the Saints team.

But no one heard about those. It wasn't in the storyline. You see, ESPN is the network that changed the world as we know it. The fact is, almost everyone has an affinity for some sport or another (if not all). People use it as a way to come together, to converse, to celebrate, and most of all to get away. Humans will always love to have fun, and sports are just that - fun. We pay too much money to watch, we invest too much energy and time caring, we lose perspective on its real role in the world, and yet, this all being the case, it doesn't seem that evil after all. When the idea of televising sporting events on a daily basis, 24/hrs a day came into being, we ate it up. We watched sportscenter to see the scores, we watched ESPN2 to see stuff we never saw before. But then it became uncool to watch weird sports (when nothing else was on to televise), not universal enough to televise obscure collegiate sports or other semi-pro type events, and so ESPN eventually realized they had more airtime than they could conceivably fill with live sports or highlights of those sports.

But instead of staying true to the mission, and keeping the idea of ESPN an enjoyable experience for everyone - they took it in a different direction. Instead of covering the actual sporting events, they decided to talk about them, using opinion-based shows and interview-style highlight segments. While the connection between the sports world and the real world was one that they did originally try to cover (and did so pretty well), they eventually found that taking on real issues and real stories wasn't always exciting on a daily basis, so they decided they had to invent story lines. Suddenly it began to grow: The homerun chase of '98 was really the baptism of this type of sports coverage. Sosa and McGwire, crowned by the same network that is now out to tarnish them, were used to "save baseball" - and also save Sportscenter from actually covering sports news thoroughly and accurately. Later, Kobe vs. Shaq was one of the storylines that the network covered ahead of actual sports. Once that ended, there was Phil Jackson insanity, followed by Belicheck being crowned a genius, followed by the birth of the T.O. phenomena, which went right alongside the obsession they had with a certain sports agent, followed by an obsession with Bill Parcells, followed by all things Barry Bonds, followed by T.O..the Red Sox..Bartman...etc...

But stories are, although often untrue, usually popular. They become gossipy. They are debatable, mainly because so much opinion can be used and so little fact needs to be presented. And this, apparently, appeals to viewers and proves to be some form of satisfying entertainment for many. Although, for me it seems a lot more like Entertainment Tonight than an actual sports broadcast.

This isn't to say that sports doesn't ever produce storylines. But there's a difference between covering sports and seeing a story develop naturally, and trying to plant one where one just refuses to grow. Apparently, people want to hear these finely crafted stories more than ever - because ESPN is clearly a healthy corporate entity. But what if reality just flat out refuses to cooperate with the script?

Today, Bill Parcells, a huge ESPN character for many years, retired and an honest reporter was covering it for the "boo-yah"s. The story was presented, the facts were read, but before the guy could get off the air, the host of the show asked "Did he retire because of T.O.?"

One last try to squeeze this event into the world of an invented ESPN storyline. Simply stunning. To the guy's credit, the reporter completely dismissed the comment as strange and ridiculous and signed off. The dumbass anchor went on with his moronic monologue.

Which takes me back to the Bears/Saints game, as it compares to the Bears/Saints invented storyline.

The article currently on ESPN's NFL Tab, AFTER THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES ON MONDAY. Yes, this is what is on the website. I joked with a friend that we would have to listen to two weeks of Saints coverage before the Superbowl (even though they aren't in it). So far, I am right for the first day of week 1. No joke.


Once again, reality and the story just don't match, and the network that has created it cannot admit to being the spoon stirring the pot. There will continue to be a lack of resources and energy spent on covering the actual game this week as we head to Superbowl XVI. No doubt about it, the wrong teams won the game as far as ESPN is concerned, but they aren't going to let it stop them from jotting down a few more lines in their scripts.

And why not? Everyone loves ESPN. They are the worldwide leader.

Although, can we now safely ask them, "the worldwide leader of what?". It sure isn't sports.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Level on the Inside

My schedule the last few weeks has been like this:

Work.
Work.
Work.
Work.
Eat.
Work.
Repeat.

Right after I find some time to sleep, I will find some time to post. I've got some stories saved up too - plus, a Bears thing to write. Anyway.

Two recommendations:

One, 97.9 The Loop(chicago) in the mornings. A longtime Chicago radio DJ, Johnny B (Brandmeier), has a morning show that has totally grown on me over the last few weeks. Check it out, it's clever, laid back, and damn funny. It reminds me of being a kid and loving Kevin Matthews - one of two kids on earth who listened to that DJ religiously.

Two: this hard-to-find video is of a song that is clearly pretty 'up there' on my personal all-time favorite songs. You might even find a line from this song in my "about me". Anyway, its a great jam, it has a great message. The band isn't really around anymore, and the video leaves something to be desired (still only like 43 views on YouTube), but as far as music goes - its top shelf baby.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Divisional Playoff Review

And...

The Bears won.

Rex was good.

And I went 1-3 vs. the spread.

Ha. Oh well, I totally called the Indy game.


By the end of the week, I will have another article on why the Bears will be going to the Superbowl.

Until then, its back to working every hour of every day, forever.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Clocks

Okay. Two Comments.

First, I will send this man a donation for such a great tutorial.

Second, I have been screwing up a note when I play this song for like 3 months now.
So happy this guy came along.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Another Reason to Hate ESPN

They've actually created an archive of articles written by Linda Cohn.

http://sports.espn.go.com/keyword/search?searchString=linda_cohn&rT=sports

Oh for the love of elevation!



What a disaster.

Newsbreakers - When News Breaks...

It is my great joy to bring this to many of you for the first time.

This is a video from "Newsbreakers". What they do - basically - is have some fun with the news broadcasts that folks watch every evening over dinner, or every morning before work. In case many of you didn't know, there are varying degrees of quality journalism in news broadcasts across the country. Sometimes what is framed as news isn't what you think it is.

These people aim to let you know that.

I hope you like this video. I hope you get this video. If you wanna learn more, go to www.newsbreakers.org -- it gets explained...a little more.



Once done viewing, I recommend googling the term "Video News Releases" -- it might open your eyes to some of the things you didn't know about what is given to people as "news".

Thursday, January 11, 2007

A quick word on endgame

Last night's $25/2 NL/Hold-Em $12,000 Gauranteed Tourney on Bodog was a delightful experience - I played with some "proper villians" who really could play some cards. There were about 1 or 2 wrong moves over the course of 200 + hands, which is very impressive.

I was fortunate enough to get 18th place, one out of the $150 payout, ending up only with $81.00 to show for my efforts.

The hand that essentially eliminated me was K10. Blinds were at 1000/2000 + 350 ante, I had about 26,000 in chips, and everyone at the table was somewhere between 45,000 and 10,000. The cards folded around to me, and I was in the classic "boy this is a bad hand to lose chips on, but its good enough that you have to play with position" type of deals.

Anyway, flop comes As Js 7c, two spades showing. I'm holding none. It costs me only 2,000 to see the turn so I pay it, and sure enough make my straight with a Qs of spades. There's three spades on the table, but I'm sure that if my opponent made a flush, he'd have either checked the flop on a draw, or bet it strong. Therefore, its pretty obvious to me that at this point I'm holding the nuts - albeit in a precarious position nonetheless. I bet half the remaining stack, about 10,000. To my demise, I get called. Had the odds swung in my favor, the call would have been huge -- I would've ended up aronnd 60,000 chips at the end of the hand. However, the river comes 10 of spades.

At this point, you know its over. No one would have called that without at least holding one spade to make the best possible hand (flush).

Checked down. Guy shows. 7 of spades, (pocket 7s).

The reason I tell this story?

For those who've never done online tournaments, they not only feature a lot of good players who make money playing (at the higher dollar levels), but they also feature some tough blind structures at the end that really make decisions tough. Did I make a mistake playing JQ to begin with?


Who knows.
Until next time...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Why the Bears will end up in Miami

The unanimous decision by the national media to proclaim the Bears team as totally inept and their situation completely hopeless is like nothing I have ever seen, and I'd like to quote Lee Corso with a "not so fast my friend."

This week, the NFL playoffs really kick into high gear. The best teams from the NFL finally get to suit up and show why they earned home field advantage, and usually one team officially establishes itself as the darkhorse candidate for the Superbowl crown as well. This pattern doesn't vary a great deal from year to year: home teams in the divisional playoff round win 79% of the time, and it isn't hard to recall past Wild Card round darlings, such as the Pittsburgh Steelers of 2005-06.

Typically, no one settles on a sure-thing to upset in this round because of the home teams' amazing win/loss record, but this year, the media has decided the Bears are sure to blow another playoff game to the Seahawks.

Let's point out the fallacy in this argument. The number one reason people say the Bears will lose is because of Rex Grossman. They cite his horrible games with ratings of 1.3 and 0.0, and proclaim that he will find some way to blow the game for the Bears.

What they don't happen to mention, though, is that Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck has had just as sketchy a season as Rex Grossman has. Hasselbeck, in fewer games, has been sacked more times and thrown for less yards per game. His rating is a whole 2 points higher than Rex's. (Both QBs ratings are lower than HB Thomas Jones', which only accounts for one pass for -3 yards.) So why is one QB going to blow the game, and the other one won't? That argument isn't logical - the QBs are a wash.

AND, on top of that, even when Grossman has blown it, he has only cost his team the game half the time!! The Bears are so good in the other phases of the game, that his failure to perform has not cost the team as many games as it could have (think Vikings, Cardinals victories). On the other hand, without a strong performance from Hasselbeck, the Seahawks' 7 regular season losses point out that the have no ability to cover up for a signal-caller's mistakes.


Debunking the hype over that popular argument then leads us to the question: of the other players on both teams, which would you have?

The Seahawks that you would rather have: LT Walter Jones, without question. WLB Julian Peterson, definitely. WR Deion Branch, possibly. HB Shaun Alexander, questionably, considering his recent performances, and K Josh Brown, only because he has made some huge pressure kicks this year.

However, 2 of those choices are clearly debatable (K Robbie Gould was the NFL's leading kicker for the majority of the regular season, making his share of pressure kicks, and the HB combo of Jones/Benson seems to be at least equal to the combo of HB Alexander/Morris in Seattle). The rest of the picks, you would absolutely be lying if you didn't say the Bears' guys. The CBs of Vasher and Tillman aren't even comparable to the random scrubs the Hawks have to throw out there this weekend. Though safeties Johnson and Harris aren't necessarily All-Pro caliber, you would still take them over Hamlin and Boulware, who have a reputation of not covering anyone.

LBs Urlacher and Briggs would be taken over any two LBs in the entire NFL, much less the combo of Hill and Tatupu. As for the D-line, yikes, the Bears DE's are far outperforming Grant Wistrom and co. (save Ogunleye, who has actuall come on of late) up in Seattle, and the Bears have much more depth there than the Hawks do.

On offense, we covered the backs. As far as the OL goes, you'd have to go with the unit that has given up fewer sacks (much fewer) and has paved the way for a more effective ground game throughout the season. That unit would be the Bears'. At wideout, WR Muhammad could be said to be less of a threat than WR Branch, but not by much. Neither are true #1 options, and as far as the second wideout goes, WR Berrian of Chicago has been a premier deep threat all year for the Bears, while WR Jackson is out for Seattle and his replacement (Burelson) is not an NFL starter.
At tight end, two former Pro-Bowl TE's are pitted against each other, where TE Stevens has a little more name recognition, but TE Desmond Clark of Chicago leads the way in catches, yards, and touchdowns.

As far as the rest of special teams goes, the Bears have the best returner (Hester), a far better punter (Maynard) and some of the best special teams coverage units in the league (rank 1st-3rd in almost every special teams category).

So, how exactly has this matchup been so celebrated as the upset special?

Previous meetings? Bears won 37-6, so there's no evidence there.

Previous home playoff losses for Bears? Though no one will ever seem to get this through their head, there is absolutely no correlation between what a team does one year and what they do the next. The Bears will not be thinking about last year's game while in the middle of playing this year's game. The Bears are no more prone to make playoff mistakes than any other team out there.

So, how can you say that the Seahawks are a great pick this coming Sunday?


You can only amount it to a hunch, one that is rooted in misinformation, speculation, and imagination.

This doesn't mean the Bears will win. But if they don't, it will be an upset, pure and simple. The Hawks could win, but a betting man wouldn't count on it.




MY NFL DIVISIONAL PLAYOFF PICKS

Winners vs. the spread in bold.

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
1/13 4:30 ET At Baltimore -4 Indianapolis
1/13 8:00 ET At New Orleans -5 Philadelphia
1/14 1:00 ET At Chicago -8.5 Seattle
1/14 4:30 ET At San Diego -5 New England

Monday, January 08, 2007

A Big Thank You

Before I do my mandatory Bears preview post, I wanted to give a big shout out to the folks that have featured some small drops in the bucket so far.

Big thanks to Iggy! Below is a great link he posted of a classic Phil Hellmuth meltdown caught on TV. For poker fans, and for people who love to watch others make a total ass of themselves, this is for you.

Great video with Phil Hellmuth blowing up on the air.

Car Prank thanks to Iggy.

Also big thanks to The Postmen! They are fellow Bear fans and always have some great tidbits to check out that will make you...well, giggle. Here is a great shot of another hobby I want to take up...pogo-flipping!
Messy Breakups Through Facebook Groups

So, once again, thanks fellas!


Check back in real soon to see the only necessary bit of information anyone needs to know about why the Bears are going to the SuperBowl.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Completely braindead individuals make up 1/4th the world's population. They also make up the entire population of Alabama.

In case you did not hear, noted scholar, orator, and football genius Nick Saban has accepted the Head Coaching Position at the University of Alabama.

This followed the typical course of completely ridiculous events: A school that is in a bad spot and needs a big-name solution quickly is throwing a hysterical sum of money ($32 Mil) at a coach that loves being wanted (think Larry Brown), is extremely overvalued thanks to his incessant insistence of his own importance, and ultimately proves once again he stands for nothing. Nick Saban is another coach that ironically is coming back to the "college game" - a place where he can "affect young people", "play a team-first style of game", and really "plant his roots" in a college town because his "heart loves this kind of lifestyle."

What a total joke. For once, I actually agree with someone who writes for ESPN. (However, realize that someone at ESPN only feels this way because they were being "disrespected", not because they actually stand for much of anything themselves.)

Before I continue about this, however, I want to show you a great video.



Okay, where to begin? First, I feel horrible for the children in this video. This is child abuse. Secondly, in case you can't figure out what this is, this is a home video of someone who actually drove out to the longest strip of pavement they could find in Tuscaloosa, AL (a.k.a. their regional airport) and waited until Nick Saban's plane landed. They then cheered the landing of the plane, and proceeded to waste valuable energy on stroking Nick Saban's inflated ego even more, by making him feel like a great guy.

Forget football for a second. There's probably over 100 people in this video. Possibly much more. They cheered for Saban's plane landing. These people are all "touched", I think. Of course, then I realized that in Tuscaloosa, behavior like this isn't even considered weird. I would bet 2000 people in Alabama went home that night cursing the fact that they couldn't make this landmark event. Who would really want to live in a place where they could be surrounded by these morons?

Oh wait. I know who. Someone who would love to be worshipped by stupid people.

Which takes me back to Saban. Which goes along with the Forde article that I linked to. Which goes along with my feelings on the state of sports and business, laws of contract and everything that probably goes along with it. I can't take this anymore. I hate how people can just stop honoring contracts they sign. If you are performing your duties as an employee, your employer cannot terminate your contract (unless you signed something that allows that, you dumbass). This is the whole idea of a contract: you are making an agreement with another party, you are exchanging services, and the contract is the binding element that allows both parties to be assured that they will not be violated in said agreement, because doing so would result in punitive action. However, people just seem to just be able to leave their end of the contract whenever they want, and there is nothing that can be done about it!

Coaches leave in the middle of a contract.
Players stop performing (holdouts) until they "get a better contract".

But it doesn't stop there. The same crap happens in the board room, director's office, sometimes even the sales floor. And it isn't just the fault of the employees - Unions strike, but employers also lockout, infringe, and (in sports at least) try to make up "diminishing value" clauses in contracts, etc.

It's all a sad, pathetic farce. You know what? I am so tired of sports setting this example. Coaches and players getting signed to contracts that are too long for either party's interests, just to stroke the ego of the player/coach or make them feel they are being compensated for his/her "true value". Sure, you want to be paid fairly, and an employer doesn't want to waste money paying someone who doesn't deserve it. But hey, tough. It should be that if you sign a contract, that it is actually binding. If you are paid to play professional baseball for $350,000 a year, and you signed a contract to be paid that for 3 more years, you should be paid that, period - no matter how good you get. Even if you "should" be getting $5 million in two years. You signed the contract. Wait until it ends, and then only sign something that is to your liking. And teams/organizations: if you tender an offer of 5 years to a player that will probably only be good for 3, I hope the player never lets you buy out of that thing. I also think that "diminishing returns" should be illegal. If a business violates the terms of its contract, it should be held legally responsible to exceed the terms of the contract sevenfold. If a player/employee tries to strong-arm his/her way to a better deal, while under contract, they should have to pay a penalty and go back to work under the terms of their agreement. You shouldn't be allowed to hold out, because it should be illegal for any other team within a professional league/identical profession to hire a player/coach who has violated the terms of his/her contract.

But, no. Unions negotiate "salary arbitration" as a part of "collective bargaining agreements". Ownership negotiates "franchise player" rules, initial contract length requirements and other ways to legally retain the services of an employee without just compensation. Now, you can't quite relate the sports world to the rest of the real world (because of the concept of trading), but other than that, there's not a big difference.

And what do we see? A bunch of people looking for workers, but publicly deny pursuing any (Check every time there is a free-agency/coaching vacancy issue with a team in sports, the General Manager/Pres. never will admit to talking to anyone about filling the position. So strange!) - many people looking for better contracts, but never admitting to it (See Saban, Brown, Francione, Butch Davis, Dennis Erickson, Gary Barnett, Phil Jackson, etc. etc. etc. - all of which were "not going to be coaching" at the places they ended up coaching at), ownership ponying up huge sums of money and time to appease fans, only to wish they hadn't done so later (Think Frank Thomas' "diminishing returns" stipulation, Manny Ramirez being pedalled constantly, etc.) and players deciding to go back on their word because they feel slighted (think T.O., T.O., T.O., oh wait, I can't think of another example as big as that douchebag's).

Oh well, legally I know nothing will change to end this insanity. Until then, all we can do is know this:

People who want out of their contracts do not value their own word. They should not be trusted to come through, and lack integrity and commitment. No matter what they say, nothing is more important to them than themselves. Words mean nothing to them, and you can only judge them on their actions. There are very real, very serious reasons why contracts can be terminated: Sickness, family tragedy, crime, business failure, a call to duty, or even unthinkable circumstances like death. Every person who has to leave a duty they agreed to perform for one of these various reasons should feel insulted every time some slime ball decides to blow smoke up everyone's collective ass when he opens his mouth, then goes ahead and does whatever he wants to do because the law is forgiving enough to allow it - and cross-eyed half-wits from Alabama and boo-ya's from Bristol are "touched" enough to celebrate it.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

The Video - 2007 Fiesta Bowl Miracles

More to come. I am posting this courtesy of YouTube again. I don't think this video can be on enough websites. It should be on more.

Oh My God: Boise State Fan For Life?

For those of you who went to bed early, were working, or plain just turned off the Boise State vs. Oklahoma Fiesta Bowl, I am so so sorry.


You will hear all about the actual happenings of the game - I hope - very soon. Read the link for all of the specifics. I really don't believe it all just happened -I am still having a hard time processing all of the events. To go from a game that I really didn't care that much about to a "where was I when that happened" status is, well, staggering.

To be honest, the best way I can describe it is this: it was like some sort of strange collision of fiction and reality meeting in an alternate universe. This game was a wild combination of the 1994 movie Little Giants and the 2000 movie The Replacements. Bob Stoops became Ed O'Neill tonight (think Al Bundy. Yep, that's Ed). Jared Zabransky and Ian Johnson together morphed into Shane Falco, being both the goat(s) and then suddenly the hero(es). If you think that comparison is ridiculous, realize that right after the game, during the postgame interview, Johnson proposed to his girlfriend, who was BSU's head cheerleader in front of national television and 1000's of screaming Boise State fans. Seem too strange to believe? Well, don't worry, because BSU also won the game on the statue of liberty. I think Little Giants was actually viewed in the BSU film room all week long, that's the only way to explain this.

To be honest, I could be a bigger college sports fan. I like the atmosphere, but I don't root for anybody ever usually except my Maize and Blue, who wore it again in the Rose Bowl. I would be the kind of person who likes pro sports and college about equally, which I know to some people is pretty sacrilege. But this game was rediculous - this wasn't even just a good football game. This was like the best football game I've ever seen, the best movie I've ever seen, and potentially the most amazing reality-TV thing I've ever seen all rolled into one. I have a feeling I wasn't the only person who saw this happening, with nothing more than typical football-fan passing interest, and left actually shaking and wondering where to go with the rest of life. Seriously, what the hell just happened?

And I haven't even gotten into the part where BSU dominates most of the game, then pisses away a 18-point lead, then TOTALLY blows the game and breaks everyone's hearts. Wait, how is that possible? That happened, too??

This was a comedy, a tragedy, a nightmare and an inspirational tale all rolled into one. This game will inspire a book someday very soon. This story will be a bestseller. I would say there will also be a movie about this game one day, but the weirdest thing -- there are actually already two of them, and they don't do it justice at all.