An Ode to the Skill of Online Poker Players: A Tale of 60 Dollars.

To those who recieved a portion of my 60 dollars last night, I bid you congratulations!

You, who called me with 10 4 offsuit, against my AQ suited, you stole the last 5 dollars from the gold rush bonanza that was my small bankroll yesterday evening. You got the last lucky buck from my brimming plethora of cowboy coin! You especially had me when that A 10 5 flop came, you knew exactly how to push my buttons! Whether it was the re-raise you called on the turn, where an 8 of clubs quietly clouded my visions of victory, or the mastery in which you called my 400 chip raise on the river, I can say little more than bravo. You never forgot that old mantra, "Call the pre-flop raise with any two, and wait for the 10 on the river save you."

But you, sir, were but a small winner in yesterday's who's who of poker genius and skill last evening. Others made off with much more of my foolish bounty! For instance, how about the owner of the K5 that hit on the river against my JJ! Whoever that savy smithy of cardsmanship was, you my friend, are an idol and an inspiration! The poise you showed when calling those lowly JJ preflop, 7 handed, was only surpassed by the ferocity you showed in your finishing "All-in" after the K on the river! Alas! I have forgotten your budda-like wisdom and grace while making the substantial blind calls on the turn and 4th street! Surely knowing I held top pair until the very end, you baited me and baited me until I couldn't help but fall for your irresistible K5 beartrap.

There is so many others, I wish I had the voice to boom my heartfelt praise upon you all from the highest mountain! I can at least take comfort knowing I was not befuddled and confounded by mere fools: you are all masters of your craft. I will take your lessons, oh poker prophets, and with great perseverence and persistence, I hope to one day achieve your levels of enlightenment. I realize this will take time, for I know I don't possess the guile nor the God-given ability to play 84 off-suit all in heads up, short-stacked after having tricked the opponent into thinking they had the match won by letting them call with AQ suited. Boy, when that 84 hit and won the pot, your moxy and grit showed through like no other. Imagine my surprise, however, when I learned that the skill you displayed in that hand was not reserved to a single showing! The 7J off suit seemed small at first against my A10, but as the cards fell down I realized that I was once again part of a plan much too grandiose for my short vision to fully comprehend. I'm guessing I was blessed enough to see a small glimpse of it, though, when later in the match I felt compelled to raise your "call" offering with KQ, only to be outrun to the finish line by K8.

Encore, Encore!!

When my 10 Q hit on the 10 Q 8 flop in the 6 handed $12 game, I was a bit down on my luck and waiting to strike back against the countless cash capers that had confounded me. In this particular case, my 400 chip raise to the man that had out lasted me with such great hands as Q4 suited and 610 of diamonds seemed like a noble effort to return some of the game's chips to their once rightful owner. But like a great poker legend, you knew when to put the hammer down. "J9 is all he can beat me with" I said to myself in a desperate attempt to win the prize, trying to feel a smile coming on inside over what I thought was an impending vict'ry.

The showdown was my instead to my demise, as your skillful CGI hands flipped over the winning hand, J9. My will dashed once again, I thought your play to be childish and reckless, one that relied simply on luck and a prayer. That was, until, I realized that you had called my 4X big blind raise before the flop! Ha, I truly am an apprentice, fine sir, and you, you are the master.


I do have one small crumb of hope however. It is this, though these poker lessons I have been taught are still above my current level of comprehension, another lesson of easier digestion has come to rest alongside. I've learned that when playing for such small fortunes as the ones I play for, card playing even as poorly novice as mine, catches enough lucky twists of fate to return a small profit.




When playing for less than $20 at a time, know that you will have days where you should be up $160, BUT some dickhead had a horseshoe up his ass.