So, if you can open up your imagination for a second. Join me at "a table"? You know where to find me, on the button. I'm seated here with a tough decision, and I don't really know how to play this one. I'm kinda middle-stacked, but these blinds are out of control. I don't think I can wait around much longer, and everytime someone else goes to make a move, what happens? Of course, split-pot. The guy over in the corner has just pushed all in. The look on his face says it all - you can almost smell the A-7 on him -- he's thinking to himself, "this garbage is the best thing I've seen all night". You'd think he was trying to lose these last few chips, just to make a point. The guy next to him, the chip leader by like, .002 chips, he's looking at his cards right now. Oh man, he's got a hand. This guy has been getting hands all night. Interestingly enough, I don't think he's doubled up one time yet. Not willing to blow it all on one hand, which I really don't understand. He's made like 3 sets and a pair of flushes in the past 30 minutes! He's reaching for his chips...wow. What's he thinking about? I'd bet everything I had that he had at least JJ right now. At least I would win ONE bet tonight. Oh man. I can't believe this. He's fiddling, fiddling. Muck. Wow. I don't understand, this was the time to take command. I wonder if he realizes that all it will take is 1 time around the blinds and 1 all-in showdown between two players to take him from 1st place to borderline 5th. The decision goes around. The next guy, how is he even still in this thing? He's got a little less chips than me, but he's split like 5 pots tonight with some lucky rivers. He's had worse kickers than a MAC football team and seems to think we are playing Hi/Lo Omaha half the time. Does he know we are only using 7 cards? Oh man, I can't believe it, he PUSHED. Jesus. There's no way he's got a hand, he wouldn't know what to do. He would probably ask to double down if he had a pocket pair. I take a quick glance to my left - the SB is going to be mucking faster than Richard Simmons without his ritalin. No way he can take this burden off of me. At this point, I'm prayin' the last guy to act before me has a hand. Please. He looks down at his cards. He's been pretty close to the vest all night, but its clear he can sniff out what's going on at this table. He's been re-raising and taking down pots from Capt. Wired-but-Nervous all night, and he's gleefully called a couple of retard bets from Mr. "Is this 5-card draw" to his right. For some reason, we've never been in a hand together, and I don't know why he doesn't have more chips than he does. Of course, he does have this lady next to him, giving him stern glares every once in a while, even occasionally telling him when to fold. Did I just see her steal a chip off the stack? Wait, did she just take two? I see him look down and begin to pu--wait, he's stopped. She just whispered something to him. He looks up- expressionless. Muck.
So then, its to me, and I look down to see what glorious two cards I might have this time.
First card. You know what it has to be - Ace of spades.
Exhale, a mini-novena. One time, please, one time!
Second card. 6 of clubs.
Wow.
No rockets, no suited, no connector or even a reasonable shot at anything other than two pair or a flopped set.
Fold - and I know what will happen. I won't see another two face cards till the blinds have raced past me like Princess Diana's chauffeur. But at least he would have the common courtesy to just kill me outright, instead of chopping off my arms and watching me bleed.
Call the push, and even in the 10% chance that the flop, turn and river actually help me for once, it would be like stealing from a blind kid and a leper and then joining Medinah CC with the money. Sure, I'd be golfing, but you could bet I wouldn't be able to get a foursome together there to play with "my kind."
Time's ticking. What to do? Either way ya go, you know it's lose/lose.
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So I took a few on the chin the other night, and it kind of set me back to where I started a few weeks ago in my bankroll. There's nothing like losing with 10 10 and 9 9 over and over and over and over and over. And if that wasn't painful enough, I was consistently raising 4-7X the big blind when I had premium hands, trying to shake it down to at least 3 to the flop, and everytime I would somehow take 6 guys with me. It was like every table had 5 people that didn't care about their money, but were hellbent on making every starting hand I held essentially worthless everytime I bet, EXCEPT when I would catch trips or make a set on the turn. Then where did that aggressive play go? Completely would vanish. Heck, I would freakin' check to the river and people would just fold. It was one of those days where even when you won, you swear your stack got smaller. Heck, it was one of those days where every bad break someone ELSE got actually really screwed you in the end. One particular moment I recall was a poor fellow who was down to 60 chips with 4 people left at this particular table, and the wild-eyed loon who was chip leader (I was second at the time, with about half his stack) kept pushing this guy in with garbage, and the guy kept calling with KK and QQ or something premium, and before you knew it he was up to like 800 chips. Then, when I would get a hand like an 88 or a 77 that I could put this pesky small stack all-in with, big-stacked loon would PUSH ahead of me, forcing me to fold a marginally good hand, only to watch him blow it with 64 offsuit up against a 10J or something. THEN, when the 3rd biggest stack decided to push this lowstack in, after cursing out big-stacked loon for a while, he managed to somehow get rivered with QQ up against low stacked 44. It was another brutal beat, and the worst part was is that it essentially screwed me the most. I ended up pushing with AQ, of course got a caller with 10J, and after the second 10 fell on the turn, I decided it wasn't my day.
But anyway, such is the life. Who doesn't love sharing their "punch me" stories every once in a while? It's more fun to complain than to recall that $600 dollar suck-out I pulled in my first ever huge MT/NLT on Pacific Poker like 5000 years ago.
So yea, the mood was somber today until I found this little gem. Very funny - and dedicated to a cause that I couldn't agree more with. I wonder if they have old Morgan quotes stashed on there. Maybe the best is his claim about not knowing which direction the sun sets at Wrigley Field, because he "wasn't fimiliar with that park".
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